DISCLAIMER: All "Dark Angel" characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and "Dark Angel" itself belongs to FOX.

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 Alec, Joshua, & Max

Gettin' Busy
By Valjean

This story is a true stand-alone and NOT part of "The Best Laid Plans" universe. As is fairly obvious from the content, the setting is relatively soon after "Freak Nation," while the transgenics and transhumans are still in Terminal City. -- author's note.

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Joshua & AlecNo electric, no running water, and worst of all no heat -- the room Alec and Joshua shared in Terminal City really provided nothing more than a semi-private place where they could occasionally crash and sleep on a couple of old mattresses spread out on the floor. However, for the moment, it was home sweet home.

Max's page had awakened Alec from a deep, pleasantly dream-filled slumber, and he grumbled to himself as he crawled stiffly out from beneath the blankets, pulled on boots, and donned his leather jacket -- the one with blood stains and a bullet hole in the left shoulder, too grim a reminder of how close he'd recently come to dying, but the only thing warm he had to wear.

"Alec?" Joshua said his friend's name in a low urgent voice from where he lay on the mattress across the room, having also been awakened by the beeping pager.

Alec stopped in the doorway and turned around. It was half past dead in the morning but he'd been summoned to the Command Center by "Her Highness" Max and he had a feeling it wouldn't be wise to "disobey." His mood, to say the least, wasn't the best. Max might not need to sleep, but his genetics didn't allow that luxury and he was still bone tired. "Go back to sleep Big Fella," he said gently, his breath visible in the cold pre-dawn air of the frigid building. A yawn overtook him and he arched his back, stretching like a cat, flinching at muscles still sore from the Jam Pony battle. "I'll be back in awhile."

"Alec," Joshua insisted. "I need to talk to you. Wanted to last night, but you fell asleep."

"Whatever it is can wait, Josh," Alec said, vaguely remembering Joshua's voice droning on about something as he dozed off. "You know how evil Max gets when her subjects don't hustle. She's probably found out White's eatin' transgenic babies for breakfast or somethin' equally nasty and we hafta go on a rescue mission." But the look of distress on his pal's dog-like face made him pause. "Josh?" he said. "Hey, what is it?"

"Alec," Joshua said, looking soulfully up at the X5 from where he lay on the old mattress. "I need you to tell me about gettin' busy."

"About what?" Alec said, certain he hadn't heard correctly.

"About gettin' busy. Joshua needs to know how to get busy."

Eyebrows rose and Alec blinked, wondering of Joshua meant what he thought he meant. "Gettin' busy doin' what?"

Joshua blushed, his cheeks tinging pink with embarrassment, visible to Alec's night vision in the moonlight streaming through the window. "Never mind," the dogman mumbled, waving him away. "I'll ask Mole. He'll tell me."

"Wait, wait," Alec said quickly, going back into the room. He looked up and down the dark hall before closing the door. "You mean you wanna know about sex? Now?"

Joshua took a big deep breath. "Yes."

Alec opened his mouth, and closed it. "Wait here," he said. "I'm gonna get Max."

*****


"What do you mean he wants to know about sex?" Max yelled as he dragged her down the hallway by one arm. "I paged you to help with the supply plans. We have starving people here. I don't have time for this."

"Hey," Alec said sharply. "This is Joshua we're talkin' about. If he wants to know about sex then that's serious. For all we know he's out there makin' puppies with some--"

"Say that word and I'll kick your ass," Max warned.

"Dog lady."

Joshua opened the door before Alec could turn the knob. "What is it, Big Fella?" Max said soothingly, reaching up and stroking the long hair on his head the moment they were inside. "What's going on?"

Joshua looked uncomfortably at Alec, then down at his shoes.

"Hey," Alec said. "Max is the expert on this subject, not me."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

"That didn't come out quite right," Alec admitted. "I don't mean you're an expert on ... it. After all, it's been what, two years since you--" Her eyes were starting to smolder and he wisely did a U-turn with that comment. "Just that you're an expert on explainin' things." He punctuated the last sentence with a charming "Alec" smile that would have won the forgiveness of almost any woman.

Max just stared at him. "I need to be in a meeting," she said coldly.

"But Joshua needs to know about gettin' busy," Joshua implored, looking desperately from one of his friends to the other.

"Why?" Alec asked. "No. Don't tell me. You have a girlfriend."

The big transhuman looked up at the ceiling.

"Joshua ..." Alec pressed. "Come on. You can let me in on the secret. I'm your buddy, remember. Your pal. We talk."

"Maybe," Joshua said, the word coming out as a whimper. "Maybe I have a ... a girlfriend."

"And you need to know about ... sex," Max said, "because no one ever told you anything at Manticore."

Joshua nodded, once again his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Max glanced at Alec, her dark eyes imploring him for help here. "You're a man," she said. "You really ought to be the one to explain how ... you know. I mean, the first time is so special."

"That's just it," Alec said quietly. "I'm not exactly a poster boy for the 'special' part, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Max said snidely. "You've only been with whores. No love involved."

The look of offense on Alec's face was real. "Hey! You're one to talk, Miss I'm-in-Heat-and-I'll-Hump-Anything-with-a-Y-Chromosome-and-a-Pulse. You don't know anything at all about my love life. At least I use some discretion. And no matter what you've told certain people whom I won't mention, I've never, ever slept with another guy's girl." The look he shot her was full of daggers. Max, arms folded defensively across her chest, turned her back on him.

"Guys?" Joshua implored. "Please."

"I'm gettin' to it," Alec said, sighing heavily and chewing on his lower lip.

"Tell me when you first found out about sex, Alec," Joshua said, trying to help the conversation along.

Max was peeking at them over her shoulder, but the look in her eyes was still nuclear.

Alec tried to think of a way to answer. "Are we talkin' about the birds and the bees here Josh? Or the part that makes your eyes roll back in your head?"

"Oh, for God's sakes!" Max hollered, turning around now.

"What?" Alec yelled right back. "There's a difference, Max. You know that. Unless of course you've never--"

"Don't," she said through gritted teeth, her eyes homicidal now. "Don't even go there."

"I had sex education when I was ten," Alec said, unable -- or rather afraid -- to take his eyes off of Max. "That's the egg and little swimmers and stuff, how an embryo grows into a human." He glanced up at his friend. "You know the technical info don't you? You've watched the Discovery Channel ... Animal Planet ... read Playboy?"

"I know that," Joshua said. "I know about eggs and fertilization, but I don't know about ..." He glanced down at himself. "Little swimmers. And I really don't know about females."

"I'm runnin' out of euphemisms here, Max," Alec said in a low voice. "Can you jump in and give me a hand?" He realized what that sounded like. "I don't mean that kind of ... hand."

"Shut up," Max grated. "Just ... shut up." And then she put on a big, fake smile. "Joshua," she began lightly. "It's like this. The first time I ... Well, I was fifteen years old, which is kind of young, but Alec's right about what happens when I'm in heat--"

"Fifteen?" Alec interrupted. "You were only fifteen?"

"Shut. Up."

"Max," Joshua said. "What's ... heat?"

"Her fertility cycle," Alec explained, saving Max the trouble. "Three or four times a year female X5's, 'cause of the feline DNA, go through a cycle where they can get pregnant. When it's that time they're really, really horny. You know those little trips Max takes once in awhile, when she leaves town. They're mainly to get away from Logan ... and me too of course. 'Cause the temptation, especially around an X5 alpha male like me, would just be too great."

"Don't flatter yourself," Max said coldly. "I go to keep Logan safe. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole even if you were the last man on earth."

"Ah, here come the euphemisms at last," Alec said. "Ten foot poles ... ten foot poles... now what could that symbolize with regards to how you view me?"

Max made a face at him. "Maybe what I wish you'd sit on," she said under her breath.

"I heard that," Alec said, offended again.

"Horny?" Joshua asked, his blue eyes looking lost, not understanding the meaning of the word.

"They wanna have sex," Alec said easily, throwing a smirk Max's way. "With just about any available male. Back at Manticore they used to lock the females up when they came in heat."

"Why?" Joshua wondered.

"Because if they didn't, I'm betting the males fought over them like fools and sometimes people got hurt," Max said smartly.

"Or killed," Alec added a bit more grimly. "How'd you guess? You were too young when you ran away to have seen that kind of stuff at Manticore."

Max shrugged. "Just figures. I mean, I know what a tomcat you are even without a female X5 in heat around. But then that's part of the feline DNA too, isn't it?" she said way too nicely. "Male promiscuity? One hundred percent of the time, unlike female X5's who only have to worry about it a few times a year."

Alec shook his head, his hazel-green eyes narrow. "I have you know Max, I'm in complete control of my sexual self at all times." His voice was heated, but Max ignored the tone and goaded him on.

"Even when female X5's are in heat?"

"Except when female X5's are in heat," he admitted.

Max grinned. "And maybe when you've had too much to drink?"

"I never have too much to drink," Alec said firmly. "It's impossible. My metabolism's too high."

"Whatever," Max said, still smirking. "I seem to remember a night when I found Asha at your place and--"

"Guys?" Joshua said, holding his hands out. "What about Max's first time?"

"It felt good," Max said honestly. "But I don't remember his name and that's bad. Your first time should be with someone you love, Joshua, not just to pleasure yourself."

"Not pleasure yourself?" Alec said. "Ah, come on, Max. That would take all the fun out of it. Guys aren't into all that mushy romantic stuff when it comes to sex. Hell, the whole reason we do it, well, at least most of the time, is for the pleasure. And you just admitted, that's what you go for too. Why set such prudish standards for Joshua. I say, if it feels good, do it." He thought a second. "And then get a cyclosporin shot."

"Shot?" Joshua said, even more bewildered.

Max was looking disgusted again. "He means you can catch diseases from having sex with the wrong people," she said. "Then you have to have medicine ... antibiotics." She looked at Alec. "You're saying your first time gave you the clap?"

"Of course not. It was the second time."

"That wouldn't have been the legendary Lola would it?" Max inquired sweetly.

Now it was Alec's turn to blush. "You heard that, did ya?"

"Just don't tell me it was a threesome with you and Biggs and the--"

"It wasn't," Alec said, his voice no longer playful as a painful memory of Biggs surfaced. "If you must know, we took turns. She was a hooker workin' outside the perimeter fence in Kazmekistan. We were on an away mission, deployed as mercenaries. I was seventeen."

"Ewww," Max said.

"Hey," Alec said. "It's not like we had a lot of sex partner choices in Manticore."

"Who was your first then," Max pushed. "Mine was a teenage kid I picked up outside a video store. We did it in the back of his van. Like I said, it felt good, even the losin' virginity part, not that you've ever done it with a virgin. End of story. There. Now it's your turn. Give."

"Her father was a cook at Manticore," Alec said levelly. "She did a bunch of us under the parade ground bleachers one night." The expression of horror on Max's face hurt worse than anything he'd felt so far, and Alec was a decent enough guy to feel ashamed. Now it was his turn to look at the floor.

"How old was she?" Max whispered.

"Around fourteen," Alec said truthfully. "Maybe fifteen. I wasn't much older. We didn't gang rape her if that's what you mean. She wanted it as much as we did. And at least I remember her name. It was Tiffany ... or Melody ...no ... but it was somethin' to do with music. She liked me a lot. We used to talk some after meals when she was helpin' her father clean up, until Lydecker caught on and wouldn't let her on the base anymore." Alec's voice dropped lower as he realized the implication of not being able to remember the girl's name. There were other things they had tried to make him forget too ...

"Alec," Max said sharply. "You all right?"

"Harmony," he said, relief evident in his voice. "Her name was Harmony. It's a beautiful name."

"Yeah," Max said. "It is. But still. She was only fourteen ..." She shook her head and turned to Joshua. "That's way, way too young for a girl to have sex, Big Fella. I hope your lady friend is older."

"She is," Joshua said, nodding. "She's one of the first, like me."

"Same species?" Alec asked. "You know, dog to dog, cat to cat. Me and Max were paired off once. Manticore thought we were compatible."

"Compatible my ass," Max sneered.

"Alec put his little swimmers inside of Harmony and Lola? And wanted to with Max?" Joshua said. "With his--"

"A euphemism if you please, Max!" Alec yelled.

Max eyed him. "Want me to say they charmed your snake?"

Alec winced. "Only if I can refer later on to your heaving bosoms."

"My bosoms don't heave."

"Okay. I guess we did establish that earlier, back when we were talkin' about the eye rollin' part. Your bosoms may do many things, but I think I can be safe in saying they've never, ever heaved."

"Shut up, or I'll charm your snake with a weed-wacker."

"Sounds kinda kinky, Max. Too bad you're with Logan, 'cause I could teach you a thing or two. I've got a fantastic procedural memory not to mention bein' a quick study. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've--"

"What about love?" Joshua interrupted, giving up on trying to follow the double entendre laced banter his friends were sparring with. "Joshua loved Annie, but this is ... different."

Two transgenic heads snapped around to stare at him. Explaining love and sex was a lot harder than explaining sex alone. "You go first," Max said quietly. "He already knows about Logan."

"Ah," Joshua said, nodding sagely. "Logan. Max and Logan in love and wanna get busy."

"Right," Max said slowly. "But Alec knows a little about love too, don't you?"

"A little," Alec said cautiously, not for the first time wondering just what Max had figured out about his relationship with Rachel. After all, she'd been there the whole time, heard everything, seen everything, including his total emotional breakdown at the dying girl's bedside. "I did love someone once, Joshua," he said slowly. "But she was very young and an ordinary. Remember how I told you their kind and our kind don't mix too well? Why you couldn't be with Annie? Well, she got killed before we could--"

"Consumate the relationship," Max said gently. "But Alec loved her very much, and they didn't need to have sex to prove that. Which is how you should be with someone you've just met. Become friends first, Joshua, like you were with Annie. Like I was ... am ... with Logan. Love her first, and then later, if you both want it, you can get busy."

"Like you and Alec," Joshua said happily, his eyes lighting up as if he'd just had a revelation.

"What?" Alec said, caught unawares by that.

"No!" Max cried out. "Alec and I aren't like that at all, Joshua. I love Logan, and Alec knows it. Alec and me we're just friends ... sort of."

"Ah, friends," Joshua said, still nodding happily. "And friends can become lovers."

Love is friendship that catches fire. Alec didn't know where he'd heard that, but right now those words were buzzing annoyingly in his head.

"Sometimes," Max admitted. "Logan and I started out as friends. But most of the times friends just stay ... friends. Which is what Alec is gonna stay to me."

"But you're both X5's," Joshua argued. "Both have cat in cocktail. Max goes into heat, Alec's the tomcat. Max and Alec get busy because their friendship turns into love with sex."

"Nice scenario, Big Fella," Alec said with a sigh and a long look at Max. "But it ain't never gonna happen."

"Never," Max repeated firmly.

"Look," Alec said, sensing a need to get control of things before he and Max got into unstable emotional territory. (Good thing she didn't know what he'd been dreaming about earlier.) "You already know the mechanics of 'gettin' busy.' As for the eyes rollin' part, that'll happen on its own for you, and I'm bettin' she'll be able to tell you how to rock her world too. Just don't rush into it with your lady friend. Like Max said, get to know her first, and when the time's right you'll do the right thing. Really. It's natural. When two people are meant to be together it just happens. Doesn't it, Max?"

Max was staring at him with the oddest expression on her face. "What he said," she murmured. And then her hand was on the handle of the door. "And we've still got a supply meeting to attend," she added. "Come on, Romeo. We can always get him a copy of 'Dr. Ruth' if he needs more of the nitty gritty details."

*****


"You've never done it with someone you love?" Alec asked her as they headed down the hall.

"Have you?" Max shot back.

"You answer first."

"No."

"No."

They both stopped and turned to look back at the closed door of Joshua's room. And then they looked at each other, the same thought in their minds. Who the hell were they to be giving advice about sex and love to naive Joshua?

"Someday," Max said softly. "We'll get there someday, Alec. Me with Logan and you with--" She shrugged, but those green eyes were looking at her in a way that made her uncomfortable.

"Someone," he said, his voice low, husky, and unintentionally sexy. "Someday. Maybe."

"Maybe," Max repeated softly, her eyes locked with his. "Maybe." She shook her head and took a deep breath, breaking the spell. "Who's Joshua seeing anyway?"

"I dunno, but you can bet I'm gonna find out," Alec said, his voice back to normal, equally glad to escape from that dangerous moment between them.

"Yeah, we've gotta keep an eye on him."

"Absolutely," Alec agreed as they headed down the hallway side-by-side, together.

THE END

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