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This is a true standalone story. It does NOT exist in "The Best Laid Plans" universe. I got this idea when someone said that if "Dark Angel" had continued as a television series, one storyline suggested would have had Alec betraying his friends when he became enamoured of a woman. I worked this idea around in my head for awhile, and came up with the following scenario. (extreme angst) -- author's note

He stood on top of the Space Needle, a gun in his hand, looking at the beauty of the night sky for the last time. The summer air hung heavy around him. In a way, he wished he was in the woods. He always liked the scent of pine. Here there was nothing but the acrid fumes and smoke of post pulse Seattle. Not that it mattered. Afterall, it was almost over ... he was almost over. Soon the pain would be gone, along with the fear, the worry, and the shame. He'd never again have to see that devastated look in her eyes or hear her call him a traitor.

Traitor. It's what he was. He'd betrayed everyone and everything he cared about ... everyone he loved. Six brave transgenic soldiers had died today because of him, and all because he'd been a sex-crazed fool. When she'd asked about the plans he'd told her -- never thinking, never suspecting, the carnal sex so sweet ... But he'd been lonely, frustrated, and she'd offered him everything he craved from another but could never have -- friendship, trust, compassion, and sex unlike anything he'd ever known before.

He'd been so happy for a little while. But it had all been an illusion. Hell, his entire life was an illusion. He'd sold his soul for nothing more than sex, lies, and an infatuation. Sold out his friends ... Sold out the woman he really loved ...

The moon was rising over the ocean, full and white, chasing away the stars and turning the water into liquid silver. From far away came the sound of a lighthouse foghorn. Below, the traffic was thinning, the night deepening as people headed home to bed ... to sleep.

He wanted to sleep forever. And now he could. He stepped to the edge of the roof and pressed the gun into his throat beneath his chin. He'd thought he would close his eyes, but the moon was so beautiful he just wanted to keep looking at it. His finger tightened on the trigger, he took his last breath, and--

"She fooled all of us you know."

He spun around, the gun still at his neck. "Max!" Her name slipped past his tongue before he could stop it.

She was standing in the doorway to the roof, dressed all in black, so tiny and delicate looking yet also strong ... so much stronger than him.

"That fake bar code was a pretty good idea. What with her abilities none of us suspected she was one of White's Familiars. And she certainly was beautiful." She was still standing in the doorway, not moving, probably thinking that if she did he was going to pull the trigger. She was right. "We're going to start using thermal scans like they do on the outside," she said. "That way another one like her won't get past us."

"Max. Go away."

"Alec. Don't do this."

"Why not!" he screamed, the anguished cry surprising both of them as the gun slipped in his sweaty hand. "Aren't you the one who told me how useless I am? How you wished I was dead? That it's all my fault? Aren't you the one who told me to go kill myself?!"

Max's eyes filled with tears. "I was angry. I didn't mean it, Alec. I know what happened now. It isn't--"

"My fault? It isn't my fault that I can't keep my big mouth shut and my cock in my pants. It isn't because of me that six of us are dead? She asked me about the plan, Max, and I told her. I told her even though I knew that info wasn't supposed to go any further than those involved. Then she told White and he was waiting. I betrayed everyone."

"No. She betrayed us. Not you. She's the traitor. The spy."

"No, Max," he said, his voice strangled with tears. "I brought her in, and I told her everything. It's all my fault. You're right. I can't be trusted ... never could. I don't deserve to be alive. I'm a traitor."

"Don't say that! You're not a traitor! There are people who care about you, Alec. People who depend on you. You're good inside. You just made a mistake."

"A mistake that can't ever be fixed."

"Alec, put the gun down and come talk to me. We can talk all night if you want ... all day tomorrow. Just ... don't give up. Don't go away."

She took two steps toward him and he edged back until his heel touched the rim of the roof. Five hundred feet below cars still made their way home in the night. Five hundred feet to fall with a bullet in his head. That ought to be a decisive enough end for her.

"Alec!" Max held out her hand. "Come to me. Take my hand."

He shook his head no. "I can't, Max. I just can't do it any more. I want out of this world. I don't belong here, never did. I understand now why Ben was like he was, how he felt. I know what it's like to be lost."

"You're not Ben," she said. "You're not crazy. You're just incredibly hurt and afraid."

"And guilty. I'm guilty as sin, Max. I need to die. So, just go away. Go away and let me do this before Mole or Joshua does it for me."

"No one's going to hurt you," she said. "I won't let them. I know they're angry right now but we'll make them understand. And then we'll go after her and make her pay for what she did to all of us."

"No need," Alec said roughly as tears filled his eyes. "I clean up my own messes. She's not a problem any more."

Max looked at him, her own eyes wide. "What did you do?"

"Put a bullet right between those beautiful baby blues of hers. She pleaded with me, told me how much she loved me. But I knew she was lying. I could feel it. And I shot her. I still don't understand how I could have been so blind ... so stupid."

"Because you were in love," Max said. "Love does weird things to you, especially when it's with the wrong person. You and I both know that. You couldn't reason where she was concerned."

Alec was shaking his head at the memory. "She was a hell of a good lay," he said, the single pathetic defense he had. "I've got to give her that."

"So am I," Max said softly.

He actually lowered the gun a bit at her words. "What did you just say?"

"I said I'm a hell of a good lay too." She was eying him strangely. "Come here," she said, motioning with her hand. "And I'll show you."

"You really don't want me to die, do you? You'd say or do just about anything to get me down from here."

"Not anything," Max said. "Not unless I wanted it too."

"Why would you offer yourself to a man you hate?"

"I don't hate you."

"You said you did."

"I was angry."

Alec pressed the gun into his neck again. "Goodbye, Max."

"Alec! Do you love me?"

He took one more breath and still didn't pull the trigger.

"Is that why you fell so hard for her? Because you love me, but I loved Logan, so the only thing you could do was to try and find someone else?"

One more breath.

"That's it, isn't it? You fell for her because you desperately needed someone. You thought she loved you too, that you could have with her what you couldn't have with me."

He said nothing.

"Alec, I was jealous. Did you know that? I knew you were with her and I hated it. I didn't want you with another woman. Do you know why?"

"Why?" he whispered. The world was fading around him, Max's voice seemed very far away, and the light of the moon was so very bright ...

"Because I love you too."

She took a step, and then another. His finger tightened on the trigger. Her arms encircled his neck, her lips touched his -- and the gun fell from his hand .