DISCLAIMER: All "Dark Angel" characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and "Dark Angel" itself belongs to FOX.
ARCHIVE: No
Confession
By Valjean
This is a stand-alone story, a scene following the events of Max Allan Collins' DARK ANGEL novel SKIN GAME. -- author's note
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"Hey Mole," Alec said to his lizard man friend. "You ever been in love?" The X5 made a wry face and waved a cloud of cigar smoke away with one hand. "Your deal, by the way." He coughed at the fumes and blinked his eyes.
Mole, with arms behind his head and huge booted feet propped on top of the poker table, leaned back in his rickety wooden chair, and grinned knowingly behind the stub of his stinky Cheroot. "What do you know about love, Alec?" Mole chuckled. "A tomcat like you? Bed 'em, breed 'em, and leave 'em -- ain't that your motto?"
Joshua, seated behind Alec, looked from the X5 to the transhuman and back again. He was learning how to play poker by watching his friends. (Alec had told him it was an essential skill to have.)
Alec regarded the lizard-man with raised eyebrows. "Hey, I know more about love than you think I do," he countered. "But I asked you first. Come on. Spill it, Mole. Didn't you ever have a first love? A soul mate? A gal pal who rocked your world? Maybe some nice lizard-chic back at Manticore?"
Mole puffed so hard on the cigar Alec wondered how the guy could even breathe, his reptilian eyes seemingly riveted on the hand of cards he'd just dealt himself. "Yeah," the transhuman finally replied. "I had someone once. But she's dead now."
"Sorry, man," Alec said, immediately regretting his teasing, not to mention even bringing up the topic of love. Afterall, it was a touchy subject for himself and Joshua as well, not to mention Max who'd been listening in stoic, vaguely disapproving Max-like silence on the other side of the table. "I was just makin' conversation," he added, for some reason feeling the need to throw an apologetic look in 452's direction.
"It's okay," Mole said with a resigned sigh. "Marly and me were pretty much raised together. We were the same age ... in the same Ranger unit during out childhood ... housed in the same barracks. 'Course her physiology was completely different from mine. She was one of the early X prototypes, feline DNA -- a lot of it. But you know what they say, opposites attract. Due to a little temperament problem she never got deployed, but we still talked a lot ... understood one another." He looked off into the distance. "After Manticore went down," his eyes slid to Max, "me and Marly made our way here to Terminal City. After that, things got a little more cozy between us, if you get my drift. But she's gone now."
"What happened to her?" Max asked quietly, speaking for the first time.
The girl's always a sucker for a sob story, Alec couldn't help thinking, as he, too, waited for the answer. After all, he'd been the one who'd broached the subject in the first place.
Again the heavy sigh, and, surprisingly, the cigar stub dimmed, almost going out. "Some bastard with a knife jumped her while she was lookin' for food in the sewers. Stabbed her in the side," Mole said, the memory obviously painful. "Cut her up some too, although I don't know why. Took her bar code as a trophy. I found her right after it happened. She was still alive, said it was some strong, quick guy. I always figured it was probably one of White's men. I held her while she died."
An icy chill raced down Alec's spine as his gut clenched, an old man's nearly forgotten words suddenly echoing loudly in his head: Saw a lizard guy the other day ... Check the sewer. That's where he went, along with his panther lady friend. 494 closed his eyes. Oh, God.
"Alec," Max said sharply. "Hey, you okay?"
"Huh?" Alec glanced over at her. "Uh ... yeah. But I'm beat. Think I'll turn in for tonight after this hand."
"But Alec's winning," Joshua said, pointing to Alec's cards that included three jacks.
Mole grinned, the look in his beady eyes greedy. "Not necessarily," he said gleefully. "At least not any more."
Alec bit his lower lip. "I know I was winning, pal," the X5 said patiently. "But do you remember that little talk we had about how you have to keep your cards really secret when you play poker?"
"Poker face," Joshua said, nodding knowingly. "Sorry, Alec." He hung his shaggy head in shame.
"Yeah," Alec said ruefully, slapping his cards down on the table. "It's all right, Big Fella. No real harm done, and you'll learn. Fold," he said to Mole, Max, and the two X4's who'd been playing with them. He raked in his meager winnings, maybe five dollars worth of change, and pocketed the coins. Pickings were slim all around in Terminal City. In here, this was actually considered high stakes poker.
"Next time, guys," he said to his friends as he left the table.
Max stood up. "I'm done, too," she said quickly, her eyes on Alec.
Joshua looked from Alec to Max and back again, sensing something was going on, but not understanding what. Then he shrugged and picked up Alec's discarded hand, sniffing the cards as if he could absorb some of the X5's gambling savvy from their scent. "Can I deal?" Joshua inquired innocently. The faces of the others at the table suddenly brightened considerably.
"Hey," Max said, catching up to Alec and grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. "You all right?"
"I'm always all right, Max," Alec said flippantly. But he couldn't help adding, "Why the sudden worry about me?"
"Because you went sort of pale back there," Max said. "Mole was talking about Marly and all of a sudden you looked like you'd seen a ghost. What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Tell me, Alec," Max demanded. "Tell me before it comes back to bite you in the ass and things are all messed up. Did you know Marly?"
Damn, she was too quick. And worse, she knew him too well. "No," Alec lied easily. "What makes you think that? I'm just tired, Max. I've had a hell of a rough week."
"We've all had a rough week," Max pointed out. "Something's wrong with you. What?"
"Even if there was something wrong with me," Alec said with exasperation, "it's none of your business."
"It is if it affects things in Terminal City," Max countered.
"It doesn't."
"So, there is something wrong."
Alec rolled his eyes and looked up at the water-stained ceiling of the ruined parking garage. She wasn't going to just let this go, and short of being totally rude, he didn't know how to shake the interrogation. Okay. So rude it was then.
"Leave it alone," Max, he said quietly. "Leave me alone."
"Is it Rachel?" Max asked, her voice surprisingly soft. "Did Mole talking about Marly dying remind you of Rachel?"
"Yeah, that's it," Alec said too quickly, pulling away from Max's grip and walking rapidly toward the door that led to the street. "He reminded me of things I'd rather forget. You know the feeling. Now, if you don't mind, I'm goin' to bed. And, unless you wanna join me, there's no reason for you to follow me any more." He hoped the sexual innuendo would drive Max away.
"I don't want to go to bed with you," Max said, her tone deadly serious as she continued to trail him. "But there's something you're not telling me."
Damn, Alec thought. Next she's gonna ask me if I wanna "talk."
He spun on her, so quickly that Max took a step back, her brown eyes widening, not with fear exactly but with caution. He hadn't meant to scare her. "You're right," Alec said. "There's something I'm not telling you and it's my business, so leave things alone for once, Max. You can't save everyone in the world."
"Do you need saving?"
"Probably. But that's a job for God or whoever's up there judgin' us -- not you, Max."
"Alec," she said fiercely, grabbing hold of his arm again, this time in a grip that he wasn't going to shake off easily. "Tell me what's wrong. You're acting really weird and it's freaking me out."
"You're not gonna like it, Max," Alec warned. "Do you really need something else to hate me for."
"Now you are scaring me."
"Good. Leave it at that, and go away."
"No. You need a friend right now. And I need to know."
Alec swallowed hard and glanced back over his shoulder where they could still see light from the poker room doorway. The sound of Mole's harsh laughter echoed through the old garage like a banshee, making his skin crawl.
"I killed Marly. I killed the love of Mole's life."
Max just stared at him, her beautiful brown eyes wide with disbelief and something else ... something akin to horror. Alec felt like he was going to be sick to his stomach. Bile was actually rising in his throat. He hated it when Max looked at him like that ... hated frightening her, stirring up all her old nightmares about Manticore assassins and Ben.
"How is that possible?" she finally managed to say. "When? Where?" She shook her head at him. "Why?"
"Last September," Alec said, his voice mechanical, emotionless as he got the words out and over with. "In here ... in Terminal City. White put that little pop gun on my brain stem and ordered me to bring him three transgenic bar codes, remember?"
"All too well," Max whispered.
"I was lookin' for nomalies to fulfill the contract ... Manticore refugees who weren't quote, my own kind, unquote." He shook his head ruefully at the memory, at how self-centered and stupid he'd been. "Remember how I told you we needed to separate to look for Joshua? Well, after you left, I found Marly in the sewer. She was about to eat this little dog, the pet of that skinny old guy we talked to topside."
"The one who said he'd seen a lizard man with a panther lady girlfriend," Max said, remembering that day. Now it was her turn to close her eyes. "The lizard guy was Mole, and the panther lady was Marly. And you killed Marly for her barcode."
Alec blinked away tears that were embarrassingly stinging his eyes. "Max, I thought she was just an animal," he sniffed. "Hell, she tried to eat me just like she wanted to eat that little dog. She attacked me and I defended myself."
"You were hunting her, Alec," Max said harshly.
"You're right," Alec said, being totally honest. "I admit that. I admit I was down there to kill someone ... something. Just like I would have killed Joshua if he'd had a bar code."
"Just like I'd have killed you if you had." Max's words were quiet, but they sent an icy chill down Alec's spine.
"Maybe you should kill me now anyway."
"Maybe I should."
"That's all I am to you now, right? An assassin. A murderer. Someone who kills his own kind." He was waiting for her to refute his words, assure him he was wrong. He needed that from her desperately right now.
But Max turned away from him, and Alec's heart began to thud against his rib cage. "Max?"
"Every time I think I've figured you out ... gotten to know you ..." Her words trailed off.
"I come up with some new stupid, dumb ass stunt that amazes?" Alec offered.
"You disappoint me."
Alec hung his head, much like Joshua had just done during the card game. He never should have told her. "Do you want me to leave Terminal City?" he asked quietly. "I'll go if you want me to. I understand why you can't trust me any more."
Max looked at him then. Really looked at him. Alec felt as if she was examining his soul with a microscope, and he was honestly afraid of what she'd find. Hell, he was afraid to look close there himself.
"Max?"
"My first response to that is to say yes, get the hell out of my city."
"You got it, Max." Alec, still looking at the dirty cement floor, anywhere but at her. "Tell Joshua goodbye for me. Try to explain ..."
"Wait."
Alec wanted to walk away, but his feet wouldn't move, as if he was a mechanical soldier at the bidding of his mistress. The analogy bothered him on some level, but the hope that flared in his heart at that single word from Max overwhelmed everything else. He squared his shoulders and did as she ordered (because it was an order). He waited.
"You deserve to die for what you did."
"I know."
"Mole would be within his rights to kill you."
"I know." Alec looked at her over his shoulder. "Are you gonna tell him?"
Max seemed to be weighing the weight of the world as she clenched her jaw, obviously trying to reach a decision.
"What does your gut tell you, Max?" Alec offered quietly. "A soldier's best bet is to listen to his instincts."
She sighed deeply. "My head tells me to kick your ass out of here," she said levelly. "But my heart tells me how much I'd miss you."
Alec sagged visibly with relief.
"You made a bad mistake, and someone died."
"Again."
"Again. But ... You didn't know then what you know now. Joshua scared the hell out of me the first time I saw him, but I quickly realized he was just as human as me. You were raised by Manticore to look at the transhumans as something to fear. The nomalies in the basement were used like boogey men. I wouldn't expect you to come around as fast as I did -- to learn tolerance -- to understand." She looked back at the lighted doorway where they'd been playing poker with their transhuman friends just a few minutes before. "But you've come a long way in the past year, Alec. I know you'd never, ever kill Marly or any of our people now. I do trust you. I've seen how you are with Joshua. I know you've saved his life ... would probably give your own for his if you had to. And ..." She hesitated, then stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I really do need you here with me."
Alec returned the embrace wholeheartedly, crushing Max against his chest and burying his face in her fragrant hair. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for understanding, and for helping me to understand." But then he had to ask, "Should I tell Mole?"
"Hell no!" Max's reply came quick and decisive. She pulled back from him then and looked toward the poker room where the lizard man's laughter could be heard again. "He'd kill you, and no one would lift a finger to stop him."
"No one?" Alec asked, one eyebrow raised.
"I don't know if I could protect you," Max said sadly. "Or if I should."
"Understood," Alec said.
"So, keep your mouth shut, pretty boy," she said, her gently teasing words doing more to reassure Alec that he was forgiven than anything else she'd said so far. "This will just be between you and me." She turned to go.
"Thanks, Max," he called after her. "I owe you. Again."
But she just walked away into the darkness
THE END
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