DISCLAIMER: All DARK ANGEL characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and DARK ANGEL itself belongs to FOX.

ARCHIVE: No

Artwork courtesy of Valjean & JensenAckles.org

"About Max," Alec said -- a statement, not a question.

Logan nodded.

"Yeah," Alec said, tightening his lips as he warily eyed the man who could still so easily end his life if he wanted to, and who certainly had reason. In a rare state of helplessness, the X5 knew he was at a huge physical disadvantage, although he wasn't so sure if his vulnerability extended to the psychological. He glanced at the nightstand where an urn of water sat temptingly close. "I could use a drink first," he said. He tugged on the restraints. "And these aren't necessary any more."

Logan shook his head.

"Come on," Alec said, his voice still low and raspy due to his thirst. Once more he pulled on the leather belts. "Show a little faith, will ya, Logan. Hell, I've got a catheter up my dick. It's not like I'm gonna go leapin' around the room after you."

Eyes Only showed a ghost of a smile. "I guess that might be painful," he admitted. "But--"

"You're still afraid of me," Alec conceded with a sigh as he relaxed back on the pillows. "Even if you're not gonna suffocate me any more."

"Right," Logan agreed. However, he poured a little bit of water into a small plastic glass and held it to the X5's lips. "Slow," he admonished the younger man as Alec couldn't help gulping the wonderful liquid. "You've already thrown up about a hundred times."

Finishing the small amount of water -- and wishing he had ten times more -- Alec took a deep breath and nodded gratefully. "Thanks," he said, once more making fists in the encircling bands of leather and testing the restraints' strength.

"You love her," Logan said, getting straight to the point now.

"Yes," Alec said bluntly, seeing no advantage here to lying about the obvious.

"And you want to take her away from me?"

"No. I don't want to take Max away from you, Logan. What I want is for her to make up her mind between us, and to come to me completely free and on her own. Now, question is, what do you want?"

"I want Max to love me unconditionally, giving me her entire heart."

"That's never gonna happen," Alec said, amazed that Cale didn't know Max better by now. "Max's heart is always gonna partly belong to her people."

"And to you."

"And to you as well," Alec said. "I can accept that Max will always feel something for you, Logan. First loves are never forgotten or truly gotten over. I know what I'm up against, and I've told myself a dozen times I ought to just leave and never look back -- that Max will never really be mine for keeps."

"But you didn't leave," Logan said, one eyebrow arching behind the lenses of his glasses.

"Because she needs me," Alec said simply. "And I love her too much to abandon her. He took another deep breath. "And I also know that, sooner or later, you won't be there for her any more."

"What do you mean by that?" Logan asked sharply.

"I mean -- it'll never work out in the long run between the two of you," Alec said truthfully, reiterating what he'd told Max once before. "She'll always be a danger to you, and one of these days either you're gonna get killed or she's gonna get killed tryin' to protect you -- or maybe even both."

"And Max would be safe with you?"

"Safer than with you," Alec said adamantly, certain of his words. "You said it yourself once," he added. "That maybe she ought to be with someone like her ... someone who understands what she's goin' through."

"So ... you love Max because you feel she needs your protection?"

Alec smiled at that. "Well, it's one of the reasons, on top of the fact that she's super hot and I want to jump her bones so bad it's actually painful for me sometimes."

"Jump her bones ..." Logan said, for some reason apparently finding that humorous, or maybe ironic.

"Why?" Alec said, sensing ... something. "Any man would. Max is a beautiful woman."

"I know," Logan said. "And I'd like to 'jump her bones', too, if only I could."

Alec's jaw dropped open slightly. Of course he'd occasionally wondered, but it would have been extremely impolite, not to mention tacky, to have ever asked. "You mean--?"

"I mean there's one other thing I'm sure you can give Max that I can't ... beyond your shared genetics and Manticore backgrounds. I'm paralyzed from the waist down, Alec. The exoskeleton lets me walk, but as far as feelings and sensations go I'm dead as a stump down there."

"So get creative," Alec said, suddenly feeling truly sorry for the guy, as well as even more uncomfortable with the conversation now that it had turned from the philosophy of love to the "down there" and dirty.

"When Max comes in heat ..." Logan looked away at the wall, his embarrassment obvious. "You know how she gets, Alec. We try, but she's miserable. I just can't-- She needs so much more than I can give her."

"Sex isn't everything, Logan," Alec said, his voice gentling as he felt himself oddly in need of calming the distraught man. "Hell, it's supposedly only a small part of a relationship, although, granted, I don't quite get that. If the two of you are soul mates, then what does a little friction of the flesh, so to speak, have to do with anything?"

"Sometimes everything," Logan said sadly, his eyes wandering down the X5's sheet clad figure in a way that made Alec draw in his breath sharply. "You can give Max what I can't in that department, Alec."

"And you can give her everything else," the X5 said, not quite concealing the bitterness in his voice. "You give Max all the comforts of home ... stability ... the wisdom of someone who grew up on the outside instead of in a military lab. You give her someone who's all about savin' the world instead of himself. You give her a purpose and a goal and someone to admire."

"And if I'd smothered you a few minutes ago?" Logan asked, his lips twitching into that sad smile again. "Would that have been the act of an admirable man?"

Alec didn't answer.

"She needs you for sex, Alec. And she needs you for companionship and understanding. I'm thinking lately that maybe that outweighs her need for my admirable goals and ostensibly sage wisdom."

"And I'm thinking not," Alec whispered.

"Then I guess it's really up to Max to choose, isn't it," Logan said tiredly as he reached to undo the belts holding the young transgenic prisoner.