ARCHIVE: No

Artwork courtesy of Jensen Ackles Museum

This is a stand-alone story following the events of Max Allan Collins' DARK ANGEL novels SKIN GAME and AFTER THE DARK, and incorporating information revealed in D.A. Stern's THE EYES ONLY DOSSIER. -- author's note

Photo courtesy of Jensen Ackles World

*****

Alec hated needles. But this was necessary, he reminded himself as he rolled up his sleeve and made a fist while Dix wrapped a piece of rubber tubing around his biceps. It was for Max.

Max had been spitting nails the past two weeks trying to figure out a way to get the information about her mother's whereabouts from the Washington State Asylum for the Criminally Insane -- the place Lydecker insisted the woman, Laura Woods, had been held after Max's birth almost 22 years ago. Mom wasn't there now, however; nor did Lydecker know her current location. But, logically, there was most likely a trail of some kind left behind that they could follow, if only they could gain access.

Normally, Logan would have been able to hack a system like that easy as pie. But unfortunately Manticore had apparently made a habit of stashing their human refuse in that particular loony bin, which meant extra security measures were in place regarding the records.

Getting the goods would have to be an inside job -- and Alec was just glad he realized that fact before Max. If Max had attempted this, he knew damn well what would happen. Her plans were rarely subtle, and definitely lacked his own touch of finesse. Something would go FUBAR, there'd be lots of shooting and killing, a big mess all around, and more bad press for the transgenics of Terminal City.

No. Better he handle this discreetly and quietly. In and out. Just the way he'd been trained at Manticore.

"How soon before this kicks in?" he asked Dix, feeling a bit queasy as he watched the blue fluid slowly being injected into his vein.

Dix withdrew the needle and untied the tubing, slapped a bandaid on the tiny puncture wound (one decorated with cartoon characters no less), then leaned over and put his face close to the seated X5's. "An hour," he said. "Maybe two."

"And I'll start actin' crazy? Out of my mind?" Alec swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. His head was feeling odd too, not exactly dizzy, more of a buzz.

"In a word, yes," Dix said solemnly. "I just gave you 10cc's of Hydropanzanide. It's the same stuff Manticore used in psy-ops for reindoctrination. Your sense of reality's gonna shift, Alec. You'll see things ... hear things ... become paranoid ... panicky. Three hours from now you'll be a total loon, and probably a dangerous one at that." The bald-headed nomalie thought a moment, then reached in a drawer and took out a small bottle of pills. "I want you to take these within the next half hour." He shook out two tiny white tablets.

"What are they?" Alec asked suspiciously, not accepting the tablets. He'd always hated taking drugs of any kind (the one big draw-back to this current plan in fact), and felt as if he was already medicated enough.

"Barbiturates," Luke said bluntly.

Alec shook his head. "They'll make me dopey, put me off my game."

"Exactly," the small mutant replied. "They'll take the edge off your strength and reflexes." He grinned. "Make a mere mortal of you. And as for your 'game' ... Bro, you're gonna be so far off it anyway you won't even be playin' on this planet any more."

Alec didn't understand.

With a heavy sigh, Dix planted fists on his hips and looked at Alec as if he was mentally challenged. "Alec," he said. "If you flip out and go all transgenic on someone's ass what do you think the police are gonna do?"

The light was dawning. Alec nodded. "They'll probably shoot to kill," he said quietly.

"And you might not be in control enough to limit your actions," Dix said. "This way," he nodded at the pills, "you've got a chemical leash. Your strength will be diminished, therefore no reason for the cops to think you're anything more than an everyday, ordinary nut case."

Alec nodded once more, acquiescing to the wisdom of Dix's words. The guy was right.

"What about your bar code?" Dix asked.

Alec patted the back of his neck. "Lasered off, remember?" he said. He and Mole had made a midnight trip to the dermatologists office the night before, him telling the lizard man he needed it removed for a little undercover operation. "I'll be untagged for a week or so at least."

"Good enough," Dix said with a huge sigh. But then he looked up at the ceiling. "You know, Alec. Max is gonna kill both of us when she finds out what you're doing. This is a really bad plan. Especially considering what happened to your brother. You could be ... you know ... susceptible to insanity, as in the permanent kind. I don't like shovin' you off the edge of a cliff here. It's tempting Fate too much." He opened a drawer behind him and pulled out another syringe. "Let me give you the anti-psychotic now and we'll call it a night."

Alec's hand on Dix's arm was slightly more than firm. "Leave Ben out of this," he said quietly. "I'm not him. I never will be." He paused a moment. "We do it," he continued. "We do it for Max. I owe her, Dix. She deserves some happiness right now. Things with Logan aren't great for her -- not like she expected them to be. She's cryin' all the time, and Lydecker hecklin' her isn't helpin' any. She needs to win for a change. I wanna give her that."

Dix's eye widened behind the lens of his monocle. "You're in love with her!" he exclaimed, pointing a finger at Alec's chest. Then he grinned. "How could I have missed it? Our very own classic Shakespearean love triangle right here in TC."

"Make that a soap opera," Alec muttered. "And I'm not in love with Max. She's just a good friend."

Dix, still smiling, shook his head at what he perceived as the X5's lame denial.

"What about the anti-psycho pills?" Alec asked, changing the subject. He was feeling a bit queasy now, and rather not like himself, almost as if he was watching things from outside his body, a step away from reality. Weird.

Dix pointed to the dermal patch on the inside of Alec's forearm just above the bandaid. The synthetic skin matched the X5's perfectly. "I don't think they'll be found, even when they do the full body cavity search."

"Full body cavity search?" Alec said, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't considered that.

"The transceiver behind your ear is invisible too," Dix said. "Just don't pick at it. With your healing abilities the cut should be pretty much gone in a few hours." Dix went over to the lab's computer, brought up a program, and spoke into a small microphone. "Can you hear me?"

Alec jumped as Dix's voice whispered, not in his ear, but inside his head.

"Loud and clear, bro," the X5 said with what he tried to make a smile.

"Second thoughts?" Dix asked hopefully, noticing the expression in his friend's eyes. "There's still time for the antidote before the drug kicks completely in."

Alec held up a hand. "I'm fine."

"Just remember, Alec. No matter how out of it you are, you've got to remember to take those pills or else the psychosis will continue indefinitely. Your brain chemistry's gonna to be messed up somethin' fierce. The Risperidone is a quick fix. One pill right after you're inside, the second one three hours later. Both pills, Alec. You've got to take both of them."

"Understood," Alec said. He was shaking slightly now.

"Where are you gonna go?" Dix asked. "To get pinched."

"There's a bar on the outskirts of Sector Seven," Alec said. "I've only been there once, and shouldn't be recognized." He handed Dix his wallet. "Keep this for me, okay. I don't want to be I.D.ed."

Dix took Alec's wallet and put it in his own pocket. "Why not Crash?" he asked. "Less chance of you gettin' blown away there by a trigger happy cop or a gang banger who's packin'."

Alec gave Dix a knowing look. "If I'm gonna wig out, I'd really rather not do it in front of my friends."

"Yeah," Dix said, nodding in understanding. "I see your point." He looked at a clock on the wall. "You'd better get going, Alec. That stuff is gonna hit you hard in about another hour. And don't forget to take the sedative."

"Right," Alec said, hopping off the examining table he'd been sitting on. He rolled down his sleeve and picked up the grey leather jacket he'd tossed over a chair. But then he paused in the doorway. "Dix," he said quietly. "You're gonna be my lifeline here, pal." He tapped the transceiver behind his ear. "I'm countin' on you."

"I'll be there, Alec," the mutant said with a nod. "Just don't go and do somethin' stupid, like gettin' yourself killed, or Max will have my head."

"Max wouldn't be all that upset, Dix," Alec said with a very wry smile.

"She'd tear this place down if anything ever happened to her Smart Alec," Dix replied quietly. "Don't underestimate yourself. But most of all, don't die."

"I never underestimate myself," Alec said blithely. "And as for the other -- that's definitely not the plan."

*****

Alec sat at the bar in Bottoms Up Tavern nursing a beer and watching the clock on the wall behind the cash register. Forty-five minutes had passed since he'd left TC. He'd "borrowed" a motorcycle from the motor pool -- not his own since he didn't want to risk losing his personal machine -- and parked in the lot next door. Looking around, he duly noted the topless stripper undulating lazily to tinny music in a cage in one corner. The bitch's breasts were a tad bit too small for his liking, although what was that old saying? Anything more than a mouthful is a waste?

He giggled to himself, inordinately pleased with his own sense of humor, and vaguely realized this was what he got for mixing alcohol with those barbiturates he'd dutifully downed a few minutes ago. He was feeling loopy, giddy in fact -- too much so to even wonder if it was on account of the sedatives or the psychoactive kicking in.

Anyway, Alec thought. Max's boobs were way nicer than that broad's. And he oughta know. He'd stared at 'em often enough, unattainable as they were to him. Hell, he'd fantasized about way more than that, imagining many a night as he drifted off to sleep hugging a pillow what it would feel like to have 452 squirming and bucking with pleasure beneath him. Then of course there was the sheer bliss of jerking off in the shower to the pretend sensation of her cunt squeezing his cock. What a shame Max had chosen old Logan "paraplegic" Cale as her mate -- a guy who couldn't provide so much as a decent hard-on, let alone successfully breed an X5 female.

"It should have been me," Alec said out loud to his own reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He punctuated the sentiment with a loud belch, and raised his beer glass in a solitary toast. "I'm the one Manticore chose for you, Maxie," he continued hoarsely. "I'm the one designed for you. We're a pair. Mates. DNA compatible." He looked down at the scratched surface beneath his elbows and idly swiped some peanut shells out of the way. His throat felt hot and tight, his eyes stinging. Unbidden, a tear trickled down his cheek. Damn. What's wrong with me?

"Max." He sighed the name. Dix was right. He was in love with her -- another guy's girl, someone who pretty much despised him most of the time. That was probably why no other female held his attention for more than the time it took to have a half-way decent fuck. All of the others were mere playthings, substitutes for the woman who's legs he really wanted to be between. Oh well, maybe someday Max will come to her senses or, better yet, Logan will just die.

Alec shook his head and took another sip of beer. The music was too loud for his sensitive hearing, and the girl who'd replaced the previous one in the cage had even more pathetic breasts than her predecessor. These weren't so much too small as too saggy, floppy like a cocker spaniel's ears. Max's breasts, however, were round and firm, delicious orbs he could knead with his hands, her dark nipples hard and taut just waiting to be suckled ... Suddenly Alec giggled again and glanced down at himself. Damn. Now what was he going to do? How embarrassing. His hard-on was so big in his jeans he wasn't sure he should stand up. Thoughts of Max did that to him sometimes ... just usually not in such a public place.

Max. Alec blinked his eyes and stared in the mirror at a reflection of the door of the tavern behind him. Speak of the devil ...

He turned around and, with some difficulty, focused. Sure enough, Max was standing there, looking around the room, her long dark hair and black leather ensemble unmistakable. Leave it to 452 to track me down, Alec thought with a strange feeling of comfort and pride that she'd go to so much bother for him. Dix must have ratted me out and Max is swooping in to the rescue, determined to keep me from doin' something stupid ... determined to rescue me. Even if she doesn't want me in her bed, she still cares about me.

Deciding this wasn't such a great plan after all -- he was feeling kind of sick on his stomach now -- Alec was about to surrender to his mistress and accept the inevitable tongue lashing when another figure stepped through the door.

Logan.

And all of a sudden, all of the warmth and humanness vanished from Alec's heart -- sucked away by the sight of the man possessing the woman who should be 494's mate.

Nature, of course, abhors a vacuum, and so into that vast empty space at Alec's center something else immediately began to trickle -- coldness, hatred, and rage. Max wants to talk to me, Logan. She wants to be with 494. Get the fuck out of here! Leave us alone! She belongs with me tonight. Hell, she belongs with me always! Why don't you just die!

"That'll be three dollars for the beer," the bartender said as Alec stood up.

Eyes blazing feral green, Alec ignored the man as he strode toward the door and the male who dared come between him and Max.

"Hey!" the bar keep shouted.

All around him, people sidled out of Alec's way, recognizing trouble when they saw it coming. Reaching the couple at the entrance, 494 grabbed Logan by the shoulder, spun him around, drew back a fist, and landed a rather awkward blow to the guy's jaw.

"She's mine!" Alec snarled, taking hold of Max's arm. "She doesn't belong with you!"

"What the hell!" Max shouted, trying to jerk away.

Alec turned to her. "I'm sorry, Max," he said. "But I can't let this go on any longer. He's wrong for you. When will you see that?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she shouted. "Who are you?"

Logan was getting back on his feet, and Alec wondered why he wasn't hearing the whir of the exoskeleton servos. "Stay down!" he shouted at the man, still holding onto Max who seemed unusually cowed by his actions.

"Please," Logan said. "Please, don't hurt me. What do you want? My money?" He was fumbling in his pocket for his wallet.

Alec blinked, and shook his head. "I want her," he spat, tightening his hold on Max until she gave a little squeak of pain.

Logan was on his feet now, steadying himself with one hand on a table. Around them people were watching, but so far no one had interfered in what appeared to be a lover's quarrel.

"I said stay down!" Alec screamed, at the same time landing a punch on Logan's jaw that, barbiturate impaired strength or not, knocked the man off his feet and sent him sailing across the room to crash into a table on the far side of the tavern.

Max screamed -- and the police, summoned by the bartender, burst through the door.

Alec, mouth agape, stared at the girl he was holding in such a bruising grip. "You're not Max," he mumbled, shaking his head like a wet dog and trying to make his eyes focus. The music was painfully loud now, piercing his sensitive ear drums, and the neon lights of the room were reflecting in crazy patterns so it was hard to make out what was going on around him. Logan was getting to his feet once again, with the help of some other patrons -- only it wasn't Logan. Where had Logan gone?

"Hands in the air!" the police shouted.

Alec let go of the girl who wasn't Max and started backing up. He'd held her so tightly he'd broken the skin on her arm and now there was blood on his fingers. Wiping them on his jeans, he swallowed tears and whispered, "Max, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, or Logan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

A patrolman holding a Taser approached from behind. Alec saw him in his peripheral vision and whirled, instinctively throwing a spin kick, but his balance was off and he fell backwards. He never saw the second officer until the electric shock surged through his body -- five thousand volts of raw pain erupting out of every neuron in his feline DNA-enhanced muscles.

He tried to scream, but his throat was paralyzed. And then everything went mercifully black.

*****

"I'm sorry, Max. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Muttering that litany, Alec lay on his back on a metal shelf in a cell in Precinct 15. Trussed in a straitjacket, his strength wiped out by drugs and the after effects of the Taser, he could do nothing but stare at the water stained ceiling above and cling to those words as a frail anchor to what little sanity he had left. "I'm sorry, Max. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Max ..."

The police had run his prints and DNA. A match had been made. He was a wanted felon, charged with the murder of Timothy Ryan and fleeing arrest. He was also the suspect in a number of other killings as well. Plus -- he'd been I.D.ed as a transgenic, X5-494, aka "Alec McDowell," the Freaks' city council representative of all things, someone who'd been in custody eight months earlier on unrelated charges, but released at the time because the computers had been down and the connection to his earlier arrest never made -- until now.

Deemed too psychotic to testify in his own behalf, not to mention too big of a security risk, a court appointed attorney had represented Alec at his midnight hearing, with the X5 never even seeing the judge.

One month's observation at the Washington State Asylum for the Criminally Insane had been the sentence. After which, he would most likely be put on trial for murder.

Not that Alec cared, or even understood. All his mind could focus on was Max -- how much he loved her, and how much he wished she'd come and rescue his sorry ass.

*****

Alec. Alec.

Alec tried to move his hands to cover his ears, but he was strapped tightly down in a bed -- no, not strapped, chained. The orderlies at the asylum weren't taking any chances with their transgenic patient. Damn it, why won't that voice inside my head stop yapping?

Alec. Answer me. Give me a sign here, buddy. Let me know you're all right. It was on the news last night, kiddo, how a transgenic was arrested in Sector Seven and charged with murder. Max is all over everyone down here, Alec. She wants answers, and if you don't tell me what to do I'm gonna hafta let her know it's you they nabbed.

"Max?" Alec focused on that one word, saying the name aloud, drawing on Manticore mental strength and conditioning he didn't consciously know he even possessed to overcome the haze of insanity clouding his normally sharp mind.

Good to hear from you, pal! I was really beginnin' to worry there. Max has gone to Clemente, Alec. She's trying to find out what transgenic was arrested. Soon she's gonna figure it out. You better get your ass back here if you can. Tell me you've taken at least the first pill, Alec.

Pill. He was supposed to take a pill. He remembered. Alec looked down at his restrained arm where the dermal patch was still in place. They'd stripped him naked when he'd been admitted, half a dozen ordinaries holding him down while he struggled and screamed like a maniac, one of them jabbing a huge needle into his bare butt that had injected enough Halidol to render him helpless while their medic pawed and probed him with a little too much enthusiasm and curiosity. Now, his balls hurt, and he wasn't wearing anything except a flimsy sleeveless hospital gown -- but at least they hadn't found the antidote.

Getting to the medication, however, was going to be a problem. Pulling on one of the arm restraints, Alec heard a jangle and, unlike the last time he'd been chained to a bed against his will, the metal frame was solid steel, not hollow aluminum. Even if his strength returned, he wasn't going to be busting his way out of here.

There was a sound from his left, and Alec threw his attention to the door to see a white coated doctor entering the room.

"Well, well, Mr. McDowell, how are we feeling?" the physician said, his bespectacled eyes not unsympathetic.

The X5 instinctively latched onto that sliver of compassion. "Not so good, doc," Alec whispered hoarsely, experiencing a moment of lucidity amidst the psychosis. "I gotta pee real bad."

The doctor eyed him speculatively. "I'll have the nurse insert a catheter," he said.

"Please," Alec rasped. "No. I promise. I'll be good. I won't try anything." He flexed his hands, tugging slightly on the bonds, frantically realizing his seconds of half-sanity brought on by Dix's voice and thoughts of Max were slipping away, that he was falling back once more into psychosis. The doctor's lab coat was too white ...

"You're not well, Mr. McDowell," the doctor said. "I'm Dr. Kinney, by the way. I've been assigned your case. You're here for evaluation." He glanced down at a chart in his hand. "I understand you're a transgenic. Can you tell me, are psychotic episodes common among your species?"

Alec did a doubletake at the question, tempted to answer with a yes. But the doctor's lab coat was still too white. It was hurting his eyes, and he knew there were more important things to ask if only he could remember what they were.

Alec, the voice whispered in his brain. You've gotta take one of the pills.

"Pill," Alec said thickly, reality fading.

"What?" the doctor asked.

"I mean pee. I gotta pee real bad. Please?" He again jangled the metal bracelet restraining his arm, and clung to that shred of brief sanity with all of his strength. I have to focus. I have to take the pill.

The doctor sighed heavily, then went to the door and called a guard and a nurse who brought a urinal. The middle-aged, red headed, overweight woman, under the protective eyes of the two men, began to lift Alec's hospital gown.

"I can do it myself," Alec said through gritted teeth, feeling absurdly like giggling again but somehow knowing that would be ... inappropriate.

The doctor again referred to the chart. "With the amount of Halidol in his system, plus the barbiturate and that unknown drug we detected, he shouldn't even be conscious," he said to the guard. He then nodded at the nurse. "Go ahead and release him," he said. "It often helps to leave them a little dignity. Besides, there's no way he's strong enough to pose a threat."

Obeying her superior, the nurse unfastened Alec's right handcuff from the bed. Not having to feign dizziness, Alec inched his way upright, bracing himself on the side bars of the bed. Then, in what he hoped was a subtle move, he brought his forearm to his mouth as if wiping saliva off his lips, and bit through the dermal patch with his teeth getting one of the pills on his tongue. The doctor was watching him closely. Slowly, Alec brought his hand down.

The sound of the second pill falling to the floor seemed extremely loud to his ears, but luckily none of the humans noticed.

"So pee already," the nurse snapped, shoving the metal urinal at him.

Alec swallowed the psychoactive antidote, and obliged, thanking Manticore for making certain he didn't suffer from a "bashful bladder." Urinating in front of an audience might not be a favorite pastime, but it wasn't a big deal for him either, especially when he was already this stoned. When he was done, he let them put the chains back on, knowing he wasn't ready yet -- that it would take a awhile for the medication to kick in and for the other drugs to wear off.

And then ... then maybe he'd be able to remember why the fuck he'd ever wanted to be in this hell hole in the first place.

Or maybe the little voice in my head will tell me.

*****

"It's Alec!" Max exclaimed as she literally stomped into TC's control room. She stopped and glared at the startled faces staring at her, then threw her arms into the air. "Of course it's Alec! It's always Alec!"

"What did our bad boy do this time?" Mole drawled from where he was reclining in a threadbare easy chair, the sprung one with the stuffing coming out of the seat cushion and back. Feet propped on the large layout table that anchored the center of the space, he puffed nonchalantly on his cigar, obviously not very worried about Alec.

"Got himself arrested last night," she said, biting off each word. "After getting into a fight at a strip club." She looked up at the ceiling as if invoking a higher power for answers, much as Dix had done the previous day when also dealing with the unpredictable X5. "Typical. Just ... typical." She brought her gaze back down to the others. "And now the police have run his prints and DNA and think he's his twin brother."

"You mean serial killer Ben?" Mole said. He took the stogie out of his mouth and looked at the floor, then glanced back up, his expression rather grim. Alec was in serious shit after all. "Not good, Max. It could be hard to clear him."

"Who says we're going to try to clear him?" she asked scathingly. "It's about time Alec starts getting out of his own messes."

"Yeah," Mole replied. "Like he's never helped you get out of any of yours."

Max winced at that, and her anger began to cool.

"Besides," the lizard man added. "You don't know the whole story."

"What's to know?" Max snapped. "Alec was in a strip club, probably trying to pick up some whore, and he got in a fight with an ordinary. The police zapped him with a Taser and hauled his ass off to jail."

Dix, who'd been listening in silence from his work station on the second level, looked back at her over his shoulder. Then he made a decision. "Max," he said. "There's something you need to know about all of this ... about Alec."

Five minutes later Max was simply staring at Dix in utter silence, shocked beyond words that Alec and the monocled mutant had tried to pull off such a dumb ass, dangerous stunt. "You shot him up with what?" she finally got out.

"Hydropanzanide," Dix said, guilt evident in his voice. He rolled his good eye at his lady leader and added lamely, "Alec made it seem like a good idea at the time. You know how he is, Max. He just kind of leans on you until you do things his way, talkin' you to death, arguing, never letting up, making it all seem so simple and right even when it isn't ..."

"It's the way he operates," Max said quietly, thinking even as she spoke. "Manticore designed him that way ... lots of charisma and charm, able to ingratiate himself with people and convince them to do what he wants. It's his gift, that and his quick learning ability. Sometimes I've wondered if he's psionic and doesn't even know it ..." Her words trailed off.

Alec was in trouble ... deep trouble. Question was, what was she going to do about it? Help him? Or abandon her brother X5 to his own probably well deserved fate?

"Max," Mole said. "How often has Alec helped you out a mess? Hell, how often has he risked his life for you or one of your causes?"

Max blinked. Mole was right. How could she even consider leaving Alec to hang for Ben's crimes -- again. Pain in the ass or not, the X5 was an integral part of her family now, one of the team, and as clearer thoughts prevailed, the idea of losing him for good made her gut hurt.

"This Hydropanzanide," she said to Dix. "What exactly is it?"

A psychoactive compound," the mutant replied. "One Manticore used to use when it was reindoctrinating X5s. Real strong stuff. If you want to know more I bet Lydecker could fill you in. He shot you guys up with it often enough."

"How could Alec be so stupid?" Max once again implored the ceiling as she clenched her fists. "Especially considering what happened to his identical twin brother."

"I know," Dix said, nodding. "I tried to talk him out of it, Max. I really did. But he wanted to help you and thought this was the best way."

"Getting himself arrested for murder and thrown into the state loony bin was really his plan?" she asked, wanting to make sure she was absolutely clear on Alec's scheme.

"Well," Dix said. "The murder part wasn't supposed to happen. That was just bad luck. We simply wanted to get him in the front door of the place for an evaluation so he could then access their main computer system. Now--" He shrugged. "They've got him so dosed with shit -- Halidol most likely -- he doesn't know his own designation, let alone how to reprogram a computer, or even get his ass out of there for that matter. Plus, there's the minor problem that the guards will probably shoot to kill if he tries to escape considering they've tipped to him being a transgenic."

"Okay," Max said, taking a shaky deep breath and trying to calm herself down. "We've got a situation here. Alec's life is at stake. We tackle this just like any other mission. Our objective is to get our brother out of the state asylum."

"A raid?" Mole offered, his eyes a tad too eager. The lizard man always liked action.

Max glared at him. "And that would really help our reputation in the community, wouldn't it? Bad enough our alderman has just been arrested for being a supposed psycho killer, not to mention we're still under suspicion for the slaughter of the Furies. No." She looked around the room. "There's got to be a more subtle way." She thought a moment. "The I.D.s all of the transgenics were issued when we were declared citizens won't help Alec now. That proves nothing. But maybe Logan and Lydecker can dummy up records, something supposedly from Manticore showing X5-494 was incarcerated there at the time Timothy Ryan was killed, and indicating that he had a twin brother. "

"What about the Hydropanzanide?" Dix asked. "Alec's pretty helpless in there right now, although he did manage to take the first antidote pill."

Max nodded at the computer console. "You say Alec's wearing a subdermal microphone? He can hear you if you talk to him, and you can hear him?"

Dix nodded.

She chewed on her lower lip a moment, then looked up. "Talk to him then," she said. He's used to hearing your voice. "Tell him ..." Her voice softened as she realized how frightened Alec probably was, what with being half out of his head with drugs and probably chained down, "Tell him help's on the way," she said. "Tell him he's going to be fine."

"Tell him you've forgiven him?" Dix added.

"I wouldn't go that far," Max said wryly. But at the serious look on the mutant's face she nodded. "Tell him he's forgiven, and that ... and that his family's waiting for him to come home to them, that I'm waiting. Oh, and also tell him to be sure to take that second damn pill. Locked in an asylum or not, I want him sane as soon as possible."

Max, however, didn't voice aloud to the others what her worst fear regarding Alec was. They'd never seen Ben ... never witnessed the depth of his psychosis. What if Manticore was wrong? What if it was genetic? What if Alec was more susceptible to insanity than other X5s? What if the Hydropanzanide took the damn fool idiot to a dark place in his mind where he couldn't find his way back?

Death wasn't the only way to lose a brother.

*****

Alec was feeling better ... still weird, but better. When the nurse came in with a tray of food, he even managed one of his lady-killer smiles. "Whatever the doctor gave me really helped," he began, wanting to make nice and prove he could be a good boy so they'd remove the shackles. "I'm a lot more clear headed now. You guys really know what you're doing. I can't thank you enough."

The woman, the same plump red head who'd brought him the urinal, scowled as she set the tray down on the bedside table and picked up a spoon, preparing to feed him.

Alec rolled his eyes and tugged lightly on his chained wrists. "Oh please," he said. "As medicated as I am, you're still afraid of me? I'm sure you've got a lot more important stuff to do other than spoon feeding a patient who's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Just undo these," he again jangled the chains, "and I'll be fine."

Blue eyes suspicious, the nurse picked up Alec's chart from the end of his bed and flipped through the pages. Then, with a reluctant nod, she reached up and unfastened one of his wrists.

Alec beamed and gave a little nod of appreciation before unfastening the other cuff himself.

But suddenly the nurse's cold fingers clamped down on his arm. "I know what you are," she said in a low voice. "Cause any trouble mutant scum, and I guarantee you'll be sorry." She finally returned his smile, and it wasn't a pretty sight. "Drugs are just one of the ways we have of keeping animals like you in line."

"Trouble?" Alec said innocently, eyebrows going up in mock surprise. "Me?" He put both hands flat against his chest, then held fingers up as if pledging on the Bible. "I promise, mam. You'll never even know I'm here. I'll be quiet as a mouse."

With one final stern look of warning, the nurse put his chart back in place and left the room, locking the door carefully behind herself. No sooner was she gone, then Alec was undoing the other fasteners holding down his waist and tethering his ankles to the bed frame. Once free, he hopped off the mattress and began searching for the second pill on the floor.

Alec. Max is with me. She knows what happened ... what you've done.

"Don't tell me, Dix," Alec said quietly. "She's pissed as hell?"

Well, that too. But mainly she's worried sick about you. She says to tell you to not panic. That we'll get you out of there somehow. Alec thought he heard a second voice in the background, then Dix was back. Oh, and she also says that she forgives you.

"How generous of her," Alec said dryly.

I gather you took your meds?

"Yeah. But one problem. I dropped the second pill on the floor and now I can't find it."

Alec, you've got to take the second dose within three hours of the first or your brain's going to go wacky again.

"I know," Alec said through gritted teeth as he crawled out from under the bed after an unsuccessful search of the filthy floor. Giving up for the moment, he sat with his back against the padded wall and his bare butt on the cold tile. "I've got at least another hour or so though, right?"

Probably. Maybe.

"Time enough to get into their computers then ... get the job done." But suddenly a new voice was inside his head.

Alec!

"Not so loud, Max," Alec said, wincing at the high volume of her voice.

Sorry. But listen to me. What you're doing might be admirable, in a dumb ass kind of way, but I'm not that desperate to get information about my mother. Your only priority now, soldier, is to get the hell out of that place in one piece. How are you feeling?

"With my fingers," Alec replied wryly. "Max, it's all right. I'm in here now, I might as well do my job."

You don't have the rest of the medication, Alec. You have to get out now, while you're lucid. That's an order, soldier!

Alec considered his options. Max might be the one person on Earth he'd take orders from, at least while on a mission, but that didn't mean she was his superior the rest of the time. As an X5, he was at least her equal in I.Q. and rank, and surpassed her in physical prowess. He did stuff for her because she was his friend and probably more ... the same reason he also argued with her, oftentimes playing Devil's advocate when they were making plans. He knew Max sometimes hated him for doubting and disagreeing, but he also knew that on another level she welcomed his unbiased advice and input.

In this case, Max was wrong. He needed to complete his mission, the way Manticore had taught him. Anything less would be ... unacceptable. Anything less and Logan really was the better man.

Alec? Say something. At least tell me you've got the second pill to take.

"Mission's still a go, Max. You'll get your info."

The pill, Alec! Did you find the second pill?

"No," he said. "But I don't need it. I'm fine."

Alec! Get out of there while you can!

But Alec didn't answer. He knew he had to ignore her now ... that he was on his own. And, with a grim but satisfied smile, X5-494 scrambled to his feet and took up a waiting position on one side of the hospital room door. The nurse or an orderly, maybe even the doctor, should be coming back soon.

*****

"Just how insane is he?" Max asked Dix, her voice desperate.

Dix shrugged.

Mole stood up. "I'll round up some guys," he said. "We'll get him out."

"No!" Max said firmly. "No violence. Like I said, we can't afford the bad press."

"Have you ever seen that place, Max?" Mole shouted. "It's locked tighter than any Manticore prison I've ever been in. The only way Sweetcheeks is gonna get sprung is if we swoop in to the rescue."

"Maybe not," Max said, the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind. Her thoughts were racing. "I need to get those forged Manticore papers for Alec from Logan and Lydecker. With that proof, Clemente should be able to have the criminal charges dropped. Then maybe we can simply get Alec released into our custody."

"And in the meantime," Dix said, "Alec goes quietly nuts ... or, as is more likely, not so quietly nuts. Max, that junk in his system is bad stuff. Without the complete antidote he's gonna regress. By tonight he'll be a total basket case again. Hallucinations, paranoia, panic, the works. They'll never release him to us if he's like that."

"I know," Max said quietly, dropping her face into her hands. "But I don't know what else to do."

"I know what else to do," a new voice said from the doorway of the control room.

Max whirled, and stared at the intruder.

"How did you get in here?" she snapped.

Colonel Donald Lydecker, fairly well recovered from his recent stint as a Breeding Cult prisoner, sketched a mock bow. "Your security measures leave a lot to be desired," he said.

Max shot a hard look at Luke who was manning the perimeter defense monitors. The little mutant merely shrugged.

"You need a camera in the southeast sewer passage," he said. "There's a dead spot under Oak Street."

"I'll get right on it," Luke muttered, sliding out of his chair and scurrying for the door.

"You heard about Alec?" Max said, facing her former CO, her stance one of attention in spite of herself. "Logan asked for your help with the papers?"

"That, and I watch the news," Lydecker replied. "I can put two and two together. The young idiot's gotten himself into a nasty jam, hasn't he?" A small smile. "But then 494 always was impulsive, following his heart instead of his mind." He regarded Max, an odd look in his pale blue eyes. "It's a huge flaw for a soldier, one that's going to get him killed some day."

"Maybe some day," Max snapped. "But not today. You say you can help?"

"I can help."

"How?"

Lydecker nodded at the computer terminal. "You're in contact with him?"

"Subdermal mic," Dix said, scooting out of the way so the colonel could take his seat.

"What's he doing now?" Lydecker asked.

"Trying to complete his so-called mission," Max said with a sigh. "He's not thinking clearly and has fixated on the idea he's got to get into the asylum's computer systems." She looked to Dix for confirmation.

"Alec's memorized a program," the monocled mutant explained. "If he can feed it into the main system it will allow us to access their files from here."

Lydecker contemplated that for a moment. "Any chance he could succeed?"

Dix shrugged. "Maybe. If he can remember the formula through all the drugs."

"He'll remember," the older man said with certainty. "It's part of his design." He thought a moment, tapping fingers against the side of the keyboard. Then he looked up at Max. "Like I said, I can help him. But you're not going to like what I'm going to do."

"What do you mean?" Max asked darkly. Her own hand shot out, pinning Lydecker's fingers to the table in a no-nonsense way. "Don't you dare hurt him."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Lydecker said, again with a smile. "494's one of my best kids. I want him back intact as much as you do, albeit for different reasons."

"You want him to be your soldier boy again," Max spat. "And it's never gonna happen."

"Why?" Lydecker said. "Because he belongs to you?"

"Something like that," Max said coldly. "Alec's my man now. Not yours."

"Oh, but there you're wrong," the colonel said, the smile turning sly. "494's my man. He always has been and always will be. It's the way he was created ... the way he was trained. Nothing can ever chance his core allegiance." He eyed Max. "Not even love."

"Alec's free from Manticore now," Max said in a low voice. "We're all free. You're bluffing."

"You better hope I'm not bluffing, Max," the colonel said. "For 494's sake you'd better hope his Manticore conditioning is still in place. Because it's the only thing that's going to save him now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Watch and listen," Lydecker said mysteriously as he picked up the microphone. "494!" he barked. "Blue turtle, 494! Blue turtle!"

"His name's 'Alec'," Max snarled.

The colonel turned to her. "Not now it isn't," he replied coldly. Then, into the microphone again, "Blue turtle, 494! Blue turtle!"

*****

The door opened -- and Alec/494 pounced. The orderly never knew what hit him as he sagged to the floor, unconscious from the blow to the side of his neck. Dragging the man further into the room, Alec quickly stripped his victim and donned the blue hospital scrubs himself -- not too bad of a fit. The boy's sneakers, however, were way too small. He'd have to go barefoot for now Then he grabbed the clipboard the orderly had been carrying and, with catlike stealth, glided into the hallway.

Patients were milling about in the large open space of the main corridor and asylum atrium, most lost in drugged haze, but a few muttering inanely to themselves. One poor man was banging his head against a wall, over and over again.

Alec ignored them. He was lucid enough to recognize that his own powers of concentration were impaired, the first pill beginning to wear off along with the Halidol that had kept him lethargic. He had to hurry before he tumbled back into his own madness.

The first two doors he opened led nowhere -- merely empty patient cells with padded walls like the one he'd just left. However, the third door took him into a short hallway that was an administration wing. Bingo! Luckily, it was lunchtime and there were few employees at their desks. Those that looked up perceived him as merely an orderly as he walked boldly by. In the fourth room down he found what he was looking for, a series of partitioned cubicles, each with a computer terminal. Sliding into a seat, Alec scanned the screen, then began to type, bringing up the main hard drive and the systems folder. He had to modify the password files the way Dix had shown him. He had to remember ...

Alec paused, his fingers poised in the air above the keyboard. How did the program begin? Clenching his jaw, brow furrowed, the X5 scowled, ignoring the long strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes and the trickle of sweat working its way between his shoulder blades. The trembling of his hands, however, wasn't so easy to dismiss. The sedatives were, indeed, wearing off. But something else was taking their place, his badly abused nervous system rebelling in the way it always did when he was overwrought either physically or emotionally. Seizures.

Clenching fingers into fists, Alec willed the shaking to stop. He couldn't have this happen now. Not when he was so close to achieving his objective. Turning his attention back to the screen, he closed his eyes and tried to remember ...

494! a horrifying yet strangely comforting voice suddenly sounded inside his head. Blue turtle, 494! Blue turtle!

*****

"What the hell are you doing to him?" Max demanded, her hand going to Lydecker's arm, prepared to yank him away from the microphone. "What does that mean?"

Lydecker, a self satisfied smirk on his face, turned to look up at her. "It's a post hypnotic command," he said. "A subconscious trigger implanted when 494 ... Alec ... was a very young child."

"What does it do to him?" Max asked sternly, keeping her words steady but not quite able to conceal the fear and loathing in her eyes. She hated it that Manticore could still reach out and touch Alec like this, so long after he thought he was free of the people who'd enslaved him for most of his life.

"Hopefully, it will allow the Unit to combat the effects of the Hydropanzanide he so foolishly allowed himself to be injected with. If he can't remember the program, Dix can read it off to him. At least he'll remain semi-functional for awhile longer."

Max still didn't understand.

"When X5-494 was a small child," Lydecker said, "he had a favorite toy, a small blue stuffed turtle."

"A toy?" Max said, disbelief evident in her voice "I don't remember having any toys as a child. Unless you count the fake guns and knives we were given to play with."

"You were too young," Lydecker said. "Our psychologists told us that all babies ... even animal/human hybrids like you X5s ... need something tangible to hang onto for emotional comfort in their formative first two years so they don't become sociopathic. In 494's case, he was given a blue stuffed turtle. Careful notes were kept regarding each of the X5-Units, their playthings very deliberately chosen, because we suspected that those first impressions would be lasting ones ... something we could use later in their psychological conditioning."

"You mean in their brainwashing," Max said low under her breath.

"To put it crudely, yes," Lydecker admitted. "In any case, 494 was taught to associate feelings of security and stability with that turtle. Later, when he was past the age of needing an emotional crutch, memories of that comforting toy were placed in his mind under hypnosis to give him an anchor to hang onto in case he was ever captured and interrogated by the enemy -- a way for him to resist drugs and torture. But the programming has to be invoked. He can't access it himself."

"What's my code word?" Max asked sourly, not having any memory of a special toy herself. "Let me guess. 'Kick ass'?"

Lydecker gave her that special smile of his. "Nothing so obvious," he said. "And if I told you, it would never do you any good in the future. The code's rendered useless once the conscious mind recognizes it as a trigger."

"A one-time dealio?" Max ventured, intrigued in spite of herself.

"Until it's re-implanted through hypnosis, again, yes," Lydecker admitted. "Which we'll have to do with 494 when he returns."

"Like hell you'll mess with Alec's mind!"

"The boy's already messed with his own mind," Lydecker shot back at her. "But in the meantime, I suggest you figure out a way to get yourself into that asylum and take custody of your 'half brother' who's been wrongly incarcerated. The young man might have a few schizophrenic tendencies, but his outburst at the bar was totally uncharacteristic, and now that he's back on his meds he's no longer a threat to society."

"What?" Max said. And then she understood. "Right," she said. "Logan's already working on getting those Manticore forgeries that should clear the murder charges. They should be here within an hour. Then I'll just go in as his half sister and walk out the front door with him."

Lydecker nodded. "And in the meantime, 494 should be coherent enough now to not only complete the mission, but to stay physically calm so he's not drugged up again."

*****

Feeling better by the minute after Lydecker's words, Alec had remembered and entered the computer program, then made his way back to his room where he once again changed into the hospital gown. The orderly, still out cold, he'd tucked in the cell's other bed. Lydecker had told him about his imminent extraction, that Max would be here soon. All he had to do was cool his heels until she arrived. If anyone asked questions about his roommate, he'd simply play dumb, saying he didn't know a thing about the new "patient" or how he'd gotten there -- that he'd been asleep when they brought him in.

Half an hour later Dr. Kinney entered and said, "Mr. McDowell, it seems there's been a mistake made. All criminal charges against you have been dropped and a relative is here to see you."

Alec suppressed a smirk. Things were going to work out after all. This time next week Max wouldn't even be angry at him any more. But then he shook his head, that strange feeling back again, and, like Lydecker's voice had commanded, he conjured up a memory of a small snugly stuffed blue turtle to hold onto. Good thing he was being sprung, he figured. He really did need a dose of that antidote.

*****

"Your transgenic half brother is a very sick young man, Ms. Guevera," the asylum administrator said. Dr. Drake Burger regarded Max with beady brown eyes from behind thick-lensed glasses. Sixty years old, swarthy, his dark hair bald on top and gray-fringed on the sides and his figure portly, he looked like a typical CEO-type with a touch of added ruthlessness. Frowning, he read Alec's file.

"Alec has always had problems," Max said, suppressing a little smile at that understatement. "It's a flaw in his genetics. But then I'm sure you know all about the problems we transgenics have with our DNA." She was dressed in one of her best outfits, a black silk ensemble complete with pearls, putting on an appearance of respectability. Seated in a hard back chair, she crossed her legs and wondered why anyone sane ever wore high heels. The patent leather stiletto pumps were killing her feet.

"I'd like to keep him here for a few more days for observation," Burger continued. "I admit I'm inexperienced with your ... species ... but I still might be able to do him some good."

"That's all right," Max said quickly. "Now that my brother's back on his medication he'll be fine. And we'll keep a closer eye on him this time."

The door opened behind her and Max turned to see Alec flanked by two hospital guards. Dressed in his street clothes, he looked pale and shaken, but otherwise all right. She didn't realize how tense she'd been until she relaxed, her heartbeat returning to normal for the first time in over a day.

"Hey, Max," Alec said cautiously, his hazel-green eyes wary.

"You've been a bad boy, brother," she chided him. "But it's time to go home now."

"Gladly," Alec said.

Suddenly, Max's cell phone rang in her pocket. "Excuse me," she said, knowing she'd better take the call. "Go for Max," she said into the receiver. Listening, her eyes darkened. Then she hung up and turned to Alec, her smile this time forced. "However, Dr. Burger does suggest it might be better for you to spend a few more days here for evaluation."

Alec scowled. "What?"

"He thinks he can help you, perhaps adjust your medication." She turned to the man behind the desk. "Right, doctor?"

"Correct," Dr. Burger said. "I really feel it would be in the best interests of Mr. McDowell to stay with us a little while longer." Looking first at Max for permission, he then nodded to the guards who moved forward.

"Max, what's goin' on?" Alec asked, sidling away from the men.

"I need you to be here a day or so more, Alec," Max said firmly. "It's for your own good."

"No," Alec said, shaking his head slowly. "No way, Max. I've had enough. I've done enough. I'm through here. Now get me out. I wanna go home."

His back was to the wall, and he was watching the guards warily. Shaking his head harder, he seemed to be having trouble focusing his eyes. "Max," Alec said, his voice uncharacteristically plaintive. "Please. Help me. You can't leave me here. I'll go nuts. I'll end up like Ben. I can't fight this any longer, Max! I can't! I'm too tired!"

"I'm sorry, Alec," Max whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"No!" Alec screamed as the nearest guard pulled out a needle full of Halidol and jabbed it into his neck. "No!" he shrieked as they grabbed hold of the severely weakened X5 and dragged him out the door. "Max! Please! Max! Don't let them do this to me! Max! I love you! Damn it! I love you!"

Max covered her ears and tried not to sob.

*****

Alec didn't understand anything any more. His whole world was coming apart. Max had thrown him to the wolves ... abandoned him. He must have failed her afterall. In which case, he supposed he deserved to be punished.

They'd found the unconscious orderly in his room. He heard the doctors talking about it as they surrounded him ... as they stripped his clothes off and strapped him down on a cold metal table. He was going to be punished all right.

"Max," Alec whimpered.

Hold on, Alec, Dix spoke in his ear. I know it's bad. I know you don't understand. But you've gotta hold on.

"I can't!" Alec wailed, fighting the restraints with all of his feeble strength. The Halidol wasn't quite suppressing the seizures and his muscles were trembling uncontrollably. "I can't!"

Someone forced a piece of hard rubber tubing between his teeth and Alec's eyes rolled in horror as he saw Dr. Burger, a maniacal smile on his face, holding an apparatus. It was a headset of some kind, with the ends padded by sponges. He didn't understand. What are they doing to me?

And then he heard the shrill rising whine of a generator, and understood all too well.

Electroshock. They were going to send thousands of volts of electricity into his brain in an attempt to quell his "schizophrenic" tendencies ... to calm his emotional turmoil. If his situation hadn't been so dire, Alec would have laughed at the absurdity of deliberately inducing a grand mal seizure in an X5 who was already prone to epileptic attacks, and was in fact in the beginning stages of one now.

"Let's just see how a mutant freak handles a little of our special therapy," Dr. Burger said with an oddly satisfied look on his face. "Maybe we can subdue some of that filthy animal DNA."

"No!" Alec screamed through the rubber gag, struggling against the restraints until the tendons corded in his arms and his wrists were cut to the bone. "Max! Help me! Max!"

Blue turtle, Lydecker's voice whispered in his ear as the sponge-padded prongs were placed on either side of his temples. Blue turtle, 494.

494. He was 494. "Alec" couldn't survive this, but X5-Unit 494 could. Clinging to that tiny thread of a lifeline, the young transgenic closed his eyes and braced himself as he heard the whine of the electric generator winding up ... peaking.

And then-- The shock wave hit, pain unlike anything he'd ever felt before ripping through his head as his naked body arched uncontrollably. He screamed again, long ... hard ... the sound strangled and distorted by the rubber gag.

The seconds seem to hang there forever, an eternity of torture, his X5 physiology doing him no favors in allowing him to stay conscious far longer than a mere human would. But finally, mercifully, Alec's eyes rolled back in his head and his body fell onto the cold metal table, limp except for the spasms, as unconsciousness swept him away.

*****

"I never should have left him there!" Max cried, berating herself over and over again for leaving Alec behind.

"We thought he could handle it," Dix said quietly. "Alec wanted to complete the mission. He said so himself. The program he loaded into their computer banks only got me and Logan halfway into their system. He needs to input more data before we can find out about your mother."

"Yeah, right!" Max shouted. "And now they've done God only knows what to him and he can't do anything at all!"

"We never thought it would come to this," Lydecker said from where he sat perched on a stool in one corner of TC's control room. He shook his blond-grey head. "They've used electroshock on him, which means his short term memory's going to be a mess. He won't be able to remember the new codes even if we give them to him."

"I can talk him through it," Dix said. "If he can reach a terminal. He won't have to remember. But first we've got to get him awake and on his feet ... and preferably sane."

"I'm going back there," Max declared hotly as she paced the room. "I'm bringing him home. This is all my fault." She whirled and faced the others, tears wetting her cheeks. "They hurt him," she whispered. "They hurt Alec. And they'll hurt him again."

"Soldier!" Lydecker snapped. "Calm down. Fear accomplishes nothing. Neither does regret. 494 needs to complete his mission if you ever want to find your mother." Lydecker eyed the computer console and the microphone. "But first we need to get the X5-Unit operational again."

Max hated the way Lydecker kept referring to Alec -- a warm, caring, wonderful guy with one of the most incredible complex personalities she'd ever encountered -- as if he was nothing more than a machine. But the colonel had a point. Alec had to help himself now. "What's your plan?" she asked, wiping a hand across her wet face and sniffing loudly. "How do we fix this?"

"Bring up the layout of the hospital," Lydecker ordered Dix. He studied the floor plans then indicated a room on the third floor. "There," he said. "It's the medication storage locker. That's where he needs to go."

"Why?" Max asked.

"You'll see," Lydecker replied as he picked up the microphone.

*****

Alec was lying on the cot in his old room, dressed once again in nothing but a hospital gown. They hadn't bothered with restraints this time. He was, after all, subdued. On his back, his head on a thin pillow, he stared at the ceiling and -- like seeing shapes in clouds -- conjured the outline of a turtle in the peeling, water stained paint and smiled, his eyes as empty as his mind.

494.

The X5 ignored the voice ... ignored everything.

494! The mission! Your mission has to be completed! Talk to me!

"I ... can't," Alec whispered.

*****

Back in TC's control room Lydecker turned and looked at Max. "He responded. Now, we've got a chance." He handed the microphone to her. "I think at this point he'll obey you better than me. Give him a few more minutes to regain his equilibrium, fifteen maybe. Electroshock's a bitch, even for an X-5. Then talk to him."

"Why?" Max asked, not understanding. "Why me and not you?"

"Because he loves you," Lydecker said simply. "And you love him."

*****

Alec, Max pleaded inside his head. Listen to me, baby. You're almost done. Just do what I tell you and you'll be fine in a little while. I'll come to get you soon. But first, you've got to do something for me. Alec?

"Max?" Alec said faintly out loud. He was sitting out in the common area of the asylum, on a wooden bench by a barred window, hugging himself for warmth, his feet curled up beneath the hospital gown. An orderly had brought him out here while his room was being cleaned, assuming him to be harmless now. Afterall, most patients wouldn't even be conscious yet after a treatment like he'd received just a few hours before. He didn't need to be watched or restrained any more. Electroshock therapy had a way of doing that to humans ... making them compliant.

But of course Alec wasn't human.

Do you remember the shot Dix gave you, Alec? You need the antidote. You're going to have to self medicate. There's a medicine locker on the third floor of the building where you can get the right drug. Can you do that, Alec? Can you get to the third floor?

Alec nodded. It took him a moment to remember Max couldn't see that. "Yes," he said, his voice still barely there.

Go to the third floor, Alec. Now.

Alec put his bare feet on the freezing tile floor and stood up, feeling very much like an automaton. The world around him seemed to be far away, as if he was watching everything from another plane of reality. After effects of the shock therapy he supposed, or the psychotic drug dragging his mind down again. In fact, he remembered feeling this way once before, several years ago, after he'd failed the Berrisford mission. The Manticore doctors had shot him full of drugs and tortured him, then left him to drown in his own guilt and near-madness for several weeks in solitary confinement. Eventually, however, his high metabolism had burned the drugs off, he'd gotten a grip on reality again, survived their attempt at reindoctrination, and been returned to his platoon.

That time he'd clawed his way out of Hell on his own. But this time he wasn't so sure he could ... not when Max had her foot on his throat holding him down and shouting orders in his ear. Not when Max had already abandoned him once. But still ... he had to try. His X5 breeding allowed no less.

The steps took awhile to climb. However, no one stopped the handsome young man with the oddly vacant look in his large golden green eyes.

"I'm here," Alec said as he pushed through the stairwell door onto the third level.

Turn right. The drug locker is three rooms down.

Alec shuffled his feet and reached his destination. A half-door barred his way then, as well as the red-headed nurse he'd already encountered twice before. She turned around and eyed him, a scowl on her puffy face, a gargoyle guarding the medicine locker.

"What do you want?" she demanded. "You shouldn't be here."

"There's resistance," Alec said to those commanding him. "A nurse."

Alec. You have to get in there. Is there anyone else in the corridor?

"No."

Suddenly a different voice rang inside his head. Lydecker. Kill her, 494! That's an order! Kill the nurse and get the drug you need!

Responding to his old commander in a way Max just couldn't quite inspire, all of the lethargy lifted in an instant from Alec as he sprang to obey, instinct and training overcoming all else. The fat nurse never knew what happened, so quickly did the X5 strike, his blurring hands reaching over the half-door and grabbing her flabby neck, cutting off her air. Seconds later she fell to the floor at Alec's feet in a lumpy pile. Staring at what he'd done, he quietly said, "The enemy's neutralized."

Enter the room. There's a cabinet on the far wall. Look on the third shelf. The drug you need is called Risperidone.

Alec opened the bottom half of the door, entered, and crossed the small space. "I see it."

There should be syringes in a drawer. Fill a hypodermic needle halfway and inject yourself in a vein.

Alec vaguely remembered how much he hated needles as he looked at an array of them in the drawer. But he also knew that this was a life or death situation. He didn't have the luxury of being squeamish. Besides, he had his orders, and orders from Colonel Lydecker always had to be obeyed. Filling the hypo as directed, he hesitated only slightly before jabbing himself in the arm and pressing the plunger.

*****

"If he killed that nurse it's murder!" Max exclaimed to Lydecker. "They'll know damn well who did it, too. Alec will be arrested again. You shouldn't have ordered him to do that!"

"That soldier's in a desperate situation," Lydecker replied. "It's his life at stake. I gave him an order he could understand that allows him to complete his mission."

"You sentenced him to death is what you did!" Max cried, sorely tempted to do to Lydecker what he'd just made Alec do to the nurse.

"We'll worry about the niceties of the situation you kids have gotten yourself into later," the older man replied coldly.

Max grabbed the microphone away from the colonel. "Alec, are you all right?"

*****

Alec, are you all right?

The medication hit his system fast, like a river of fire running through his veins, burning out the fatigue, depression, and lethargy, counteracting the psychotic he'd been injected with the day before.

Alec hid in a supply closet for ten minutes, waiting for the worst of the shaking to stop as his transgenic body balanced its metabolism and his mind cleared. Only then did he answer Max. "I'm fine, Maxie," he said. "Or will be just as soon as you spring me from this fuckin' place. And, by the way, if you leave me high and dry again like before, we're gonna have words."

He could hear the relief in her voice as she replied, Don't worry, Pretty Boy. Mama's comin' to get you. But I was hoping you could do me a favor first.

"Doctor the computers a little bit more?" Alec guessed. "Figured that was the reason you needed me to extend my stay a bit."

Alec, Dix's voice came through the transceiver. Get to a terminal if you can and I'll give you the sequence.

Alec complied. He'd seen a monitoring station in the room next door. Outside there was the sound of running feet and shouting. Nurse Red Head had obviously been found. He'd have to move fast. But first things first.

The pimply faced orderly he snagged, dragged back into the closet, and rendered unconscious with a single punch to the jaw was about his size, and this time the shoes actually came close to fitting. Stripping off the hospital gown, Alec quickly dressed in the scrubs, tied up the orderly with some twine he'd found, gagged the kid with his own socks, then cracked the door open. For the moment, the hallway was clear. But then an alarm began to sound, blaring like a banshee.

He had very little time left.

Dashing around the corner, Alec found the room he remembered and ran inside, closing the door behind himself. The computer terminal was already on. All he had to do was access the "applications" file. "Give it to me, Dix," he said.

The program wasn't as complex as the first one he'd memorized, more of an addition rather than entirely new. It took approximately three minutes to feed into the hospital's main frame.

"Finished," Alec declared, relief evident in his voice.

Now get out of there! Dix yelled.

Easier said than done. Alec moved to a window and looked down through the iron bars at the three story drop to the lawn below -- difficult, but doable. He then turned his attention to the grate. The building was old, the cement window sills crumbling. It didn't take much of a tug, what with his quickly returning strength, to yank the entire set of bars out of the frame. Setting it aside, Alec raised the window, hopped onto the ledge, and -- just as four guards burst into the room -- jumped.

*****

An hour later, Max, in Logan's car, was waiting for him when her man came running out of the tree line, the distant blare of still-sounding alarms at the hospital lending wings to his feet, the same sound that had given Alec enough incentive to manage the 15-foot perimeter fence -- one jump almost to the top, then a flip over the concertina wire to land like a cat on the other side. He'd been hiding in the bushes beside the road, waiting for his ride, ever since.

"Long time no see," Alec panted as he hopped into the small vehicle's passenger side. "To borrow a phrase, let's blaze," he added.

Max nodded in agreement and put her foot to the floor.

"Let's not do this again any time soon," Alec said, still trying to catch his breath as they sped down the county road. He brushed sweaty strands of hair out of his eyes and looked at Max. There was something he needed to get over with right away. "How mad are you at me?"

"Mad enough to kick your sorry ass out of Terminal City for good," she replied coldly.

Alec's expression fell, his hazel-green eyes filling with hurt. "You want me to leave? Max, I'm sorry. I was just tryin' to help. But I knew you'd never agree to my plan."

"Because it sucked?" she said sarcastically.

"Well, yeah," Alec admitted. "But it still worked, didn't it. You got the info on your mother?"

Dix had, indeed, been able to access Laura Woods' records, and for that Max had to admit she was grateful. But still--

"Alec, you killed someone in there."

Alec stared at her. "Did not."

"That nurse in the medicine supply room. Lydecker ordered you to kill her and you did."

"No, I didn't," Alec argued. "What? You think I'm still some kind of Manticore machine that old 'Deck can commandeer any time he wants to?"

"You were under the influence of one of Manticore's drugs, Alec," Max said tiredly. "I know it wasn't your fault, but the police are going to come after you now with murder charges, and this time they're for real."

"Max, I swear, I didn't kill that nurse. I just cut off her air so she passed out. An old trick I learned that's come in pretty useful a time or two." He reached out and put his hand on her forearm. Even though driving, she glanced over so she could see his eyes. Alec could be hard to read sometimes, but now ... she somehow knew the sincerity in those green-gold depths was for real. "You'll see," he said quietly. "It'll be on the news."

"You really disobeyed Lydecker?"

"Please," Alec sniffed. "I don't take orders from tools."

Max felt as if the weight of the world had suddenly lifted off of her shoulders.

"You still want me to leave?" Alec asked quietly.

"No," she said, meaning it. "I don't want you to leave." But she had one more thing to say. "We do need to talk about something though, Alec. Did you say 'I love you' to me back there in the office? What's that about?"

Alec blinked, managing to look both confused and chagrined at the same time. "I don't remember," he said honestly. "If I did say that, my only excuse is that I was drugged out of my mind, and not responsible for my words or actions."

"So, you're not in love with me?"

"Hell no!" Alec declared. "Self flagellation isn't my strong suit, Max. Why would I let myself fall in love with someone who can barely tolerate my existence? Not to mention the not so insignificent fact you're head-over-heels for another guy already."

"I wouldn't exactly say I can't tolerate you," Max said, sounding faintly miffed. "Well, some of the time you're a pain in the ass," she amended. "But not always. Occasionally you're even handy to have around."

"Is that a compliment?"

"No. It's an observation. And I said 'occasionally.' The past two days not being a good example. This had to be the dumbest stunt you've ever pulled in your life, Alec. A plan that sucked beyond suckiness."

They'd come to the main highway leading back to Seattle, and Max pulled the little Aztec onto the road, accelerating as she did.

For cryin' out loud, would the two of you please just kiss and make up! Dix's voice pleaded in Alec's head.

"Shit!" Alec said out loud, his expression mirroring his distress. "I forgot about the damn transceiver."

Max looked at him, horrified and trying to remember what all they'd been saying. Nothing too incriminating she supposed.

"Dix," Alec said. "Turn the mic off. Now. Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not polite to eavesdrop?"

I never had a mother, but will do, Alec.

Alec waited until he could no longer hear the high pitched carrier of the mic in the background of his hearing, then nodded at Max. "Clear," he said.

"How do you feel?" she asked. "Really?"

"Migraine's building," Alec said truthfully. "And I need some Tryptophan." He held out a hand, showing her the trembling. That electroshock so-called therapy didn't do my seizures any good.

Max immediately reached into her vest pocket and pulled out a bottle containing the medication her brother X5 needed. "Here," she said.

"Thanks." Alec swallowed the pills, six of them, dry.

"You know," she said after a few more miles had passed in silence. "I still don't know why you put yourself through all that hell for me."

"I don't know either anymore," Alec replied honestly. "Just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Like I said, I thought I could help."

"But the price might have been too high. If I'd lost you ..."

"Hey," Alec said softly. "A little while ago you were ready to kick my mighty fine ass out of TC for good."

"Logan suspects," Max said.

"Suspects what?"

"How you feel about me. He has to. And Lydecker flat-out knows."

"So sue me," Alec said, not denying what Max was referring to, but also carefully not coming right out and admitting anything either.

"Alec, I love Logan. He's the one I've chosen."

"I know that, Max. Hell, you've made it clear from the beginning, and I respect you for it. I'd never do anything to interfere with you and your guy -- not intentionally."

"I'd feel a lot better if you found a nice girl of your own and settled down," Max ventured.

Alec smirked. "Why? So Logan won't consider me the competition any more? I'd be 'off the market' so to speak and therefore safe for you to be around?" Alec leaned his head back on the car seat and sighed. "Max, I admit I've got feelings for you, strong ones. But what they are, I'm not sure myself. But then I've also got feelings for Joshua, and, God help me, even for Mole ... for all of my brothers and sisters back at TC in fact. But you and me, we've got a pretty big history together so there's bound to be something extra between us. We work side-by-side every day, trustin' one another when we pull jobs or go on missions, workin' on the City Council stuff, runnin' the compound ..." His voice trailed off.

But Max understood. However, Alec still wasn't getting to the sordid point. "You want to sleep with me."

"I do," Alec said bluntly. "Any man would."

She turned and stared at him again. "You mean if I pulled off the road right now at one of these little wayside hotels and gave you the go ahead you'd do it? You'd jump me?"

"If you didn't jump me first," Alec said with a smirk. "But this is all theoretical isn't it, Max?" He pointed to his forehead. "Migraine, remember? I'm not a well man at the moment. You're not comin' in heat again are you?" he asked, a slightly alarmed look in his eyes. That wasn't what he needed right now, a horny Max to contend with when he was beat on his feet.

"Of course it was theoretical," Max snapped. "And no, I'm not coming in heat." They'd arrived on the outskirts of Seattle now and would be home in another few minutes, barring a hold up at the sector check point. "I just needed to know where we stand. You said some things while under the influence of that drug, Alec. In the doctor's office, and apparently in that bar you were in too according to the police report. Things that made me wonder."

"And if I was in love with you?" Alec drawled, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "And if I did want to take you away from Logan? What would you do about it? Speaking theoretically, of course."

Max took a big shaky breath and gripped the steering wheel more tightly. "I suppose I'd have to kick your ass," she said huskily.

"I suppose you would," Alec agreed with a little smile.

THE END